Why We "Cupcake" OR Why Kids Are in Prison in Uganda

How does a child end up in a prison in Uganda?

Great question.

Let's follow a common story...

A beloved child is born to her mother...

She is a delight and a joy!

But her parents' lives are stolen early by disease, HIV/AIDS, war or even struck by lightning. (I heard this so often from street children while in Uganda! Lightning kills many parents!) This once loved child is now an orphan.


Often children are left to fend for themselves while a grandparent or other caregiver works in a field to provide for the children.

When their caregivers die or if a parent remarries, the child must then make their own way in the world. 


This means leaving the village and all they have known...

And trying to make a life in the big city.

 The city is a big, scary place when you are just a child.

 








The child sees the abundance of food at the market, but has no money to pay for any.

So they must scavenge for food...

The police periodically do "sweeps" of the area and pick up the children and take them to one of the 8 prisons in Uganda for children.

 They are locked up in facilities that are under financed and under staffed.

 
 Food only comes once every other day.

                                               Their bedding is old, moldy and soaked in years of old urine.

Despair doesn't begin to capture how they must feel.

At times, the facilities may go without water for months at a time.

There is nothing to do but wait...hoping that you will be allowed freedom...someday.


This is the common path of a child who sits in a prison in Uganda. Others are there because of a family's poverty, or because they were rejected for their special needs (physical and mental), or because they were unwanted by new step parents. Some are there for petty crimes mainly driven by their poverty.


But now, a group of Jesus-loving people have come together and formed Sixty Feet...all for the purpose of bringing hope and restoration to these very children in Jesus' name.

They lead them in worship...

They bring the gospel message into the prisons. Children learn of TRUE FREEDOM that is for them no matter if they are locked behind bars or not!

And now this dear child who has experienced so much loss, so much trauma is now a student of God's Word! Hope fills hearts!

And THAT my friends, is WHY WE CUPCAKE!!!

100% of the proceeds from our Cupcake Kids sale will go to the imprisoned children through Sixty Feet.


What will the money do? I'm glad you asked!!
*Food--with protein, daily!
*Clean water
*Medical care
*Providing adequate clothing, bedding and mosquito nets (to fight malaria)
*Repairing the facilities
*Initiating justice so that children who do not belong in the prisons can have their cases heard in as little as 3 months by a judge rather than the lengthy 18 months
*Removing the most vulnerable children to a loving foster family
*Provide on-going counseling, mentoring to the children by Ugandan men who love Jesus


All these things are done with your cupcake money!! 


Are you moved to support this ministry but are not nearby? Worry not! We have a virtual cupcake for you!

Click me!

This one has NO FAT, NO CALORIES and will still bring joy to your heart for helping the most vulnerable children! Click to donate directly to our stand!


Thank you to ALL MY FRIENDS who are so selflessly giving and baking and planning on being at our sale this Saturday! Cannot wait!!!

"For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.
The King will say to those on His right, "I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to Me!"    ~Jesus in Matthew 25

Let's Save the Adoption Tax Credit!

Many of you know by experience how costly adoption is.

Many of you simply fear stepping out into something so expensive as adopting a child.

A generous federal refundable tax credit ended last year, on December 31, 2011.

Because our adoption was not final until this month, we did not qualify for it. :(

There are 163,000,000 more orphans in the world without families.

Reality is, adoption is not going to happen for MOST of them. :(

However, what if MORE orphans could become sons and daughters? 

What if something like a refundable tax credit made adoption more affordable?

Who knows what might happen! People who had previously thought adoption unattainable might consider themselves as a potential family for a needy child!

Currently, there is a bill in the house that would permanently bring the adoption tax credit back, make it refundable and increase the value of it! If you want to read about it yourself, here is a link. This is a link to the official bill itself.



This is GREAT NEWS!!!

But guess what?

Unless our state representatives hear how IMPORTANT this is to us, it might not pass.

WE WANT IT TO PASS!!!

In the name of giving every possible orphan a family, WE WANT THIS BILL TO PASS!!!!

So I ask you...

no,

I BEG YOU

to please take 15 minutes to email, call, write a letter and let him/her know that you want their vote to be

YES

on this proposed tax credit!!!!

Action is necessary!!

So often I wonder, "What can ELSE I do for orphans?"

Here is a GREAT activity! Make your voice heard! 

Even if YOU personally have no intention of every adopting...

PLEASE...

on behalf of those children who go to bed at night with no kisses, no hugs, no bedtime prayers, no last drinks of water, no one to comfort them that there is no monster under their bed...

PLEASE MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD.

Here is a link to find who your state representative is!

This is a link to change.org where a petition is being signed as well. This option would be best for anyone outside of the United States. You may read this blog from far away, but you can still have an impact on the future of orphans, at least in supporting giving them future homes in America. (Fellow Americans, although this route will be easier/faster I want to encourage you to contact your state representative personally.) 

Will you take action?

My Yum Yum List

Did you know? Eating every 3-4 hours is key in not overeating later in the day/night...and it keeps your metabolism steady and burning all day.

I thought maybe I'd post a few of the things I like to snack on with the hopes that you'll get some encouragement to eat light as we approach summer...

                                                                            ...and I'm hoping for some new ideas too!

So read on and be sure to comment with your favorite Yum Yum snack! :)

Shakeology Balls--recipe from Chalene Johnson's Push book!
1 cup PB2 (another GREAT secret--Powdered peanut butter with 85% of the fat removed! AWESOME!)
1/2 cup natural peanut butter (I use Trader Joe's that is full of flax seeds!)
1 cup quick oats
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology powder
Stevia, Truvia sweetener to taste

Mix all in bowl. Wet hands and form into ping-pong size balls. Place in wax paper in fridge...or enjoy write off your fingers! YUM!

2 balls are only 135 calories! SCORE!!

Amy's Healthy Ice Cream--okay, this isn't really ice cream, but it's so good, you can fool yourself!

1 cup Fage Greek yogurt
1 cup frozen red raspberries
Stevia/Truvia sweetener to taste

Tons of protein, no fat and just 209 calories for a huge bowlful!

Carrots and Hummus
Just what it sounds like...I used to dip whole wheat pita chips in hummus, but have recently been backing off on my "breads" and am just as satisfied with carrots in my hummus dip! Mini carrots are more fun too!

Depending on your hummus, anywhere from 35-70 calories for 2 Tablespoons of hummus and another 35 calories for 3 ounces of carrots.

Ends and Pieces from Trader Joe's
The 100% dried fruit bars need to be trimmed into their perfect shapes...what do they do with all those leftover edges? They bag them up in "Ends and Pieces!" You never know what flavor fruit you'll get and they are so healthy!!

4-5 pieces for 100 calories.

Tony Horton's Sticky Bar from Bring It! by Tony Horton
1/2 banana
1/2 cup lean healthy cereal (Kashi Go Lean is what I've used)
1 heaping tablespoon crunchy almond or peanut butter (natural)
Mash all together in a bowl. Roll mixture into a bar. Freeze.  Zap on high 20 seconds in your microwave when you are ready to enjoy!

Calorie count? 215.

Apple and Almond Butter
What a great snack the combination of the sweet apple and stick-to-your-ribs of almond butter! I measure out 1 tablespoon of Almond butter and dip 1/2 an apple (wedged) in for a filling and healthy snack!

Calories in this combination usually run about 145.

Tropical Strawberry Shakeology
This new member of the Shakeology family has me smitten! I prefer it to both Greenberry and Chocolate and have lots of favorite ways to make it. Recently, I've indulged in a cup of skim milk, 2 tablespoons of walnuts and a dash of cinnamon. HEAVEN!

Just in water and ice it comes in at just 160 calories. Slurp!!

Kale Chips
Oh my wow!! How can you get more greens in your diet? Like THIS! Buy a head of kale...wash and dry WELL. Tear off the main stem and lightly coat with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt. Spread them on a cookie sheet and bake for 18 -20 mins in a 300 degree oven. YOU WILL BE AMAZED! They melt in your mouth the way cotton candy does! They taste a bit like a potato chip, but remember you are eating a green vegetable. Try it! If you don't make them right the first time, TRY AGAIN! I bombed my first try and the second left them begging for more! (My littles and I ate an entire head of kale in one sitting!)

P90X Protein Bars

I have always ordered the variety box, but have settled currently on the Chocolate Fudge variety. Since this is a processed food, I eat these sparingly. But they are so yummy and a great grab-and-go treat!

One bar is 20 grams of protein (WOW!) and 260 calories.

Dried fruit
Dried fruit is great for the road! I love apricots and apples in particular. Craisins are another favorite--just watch the portion size!

With dried apples 10 rings are just 110 calories. With Cranberries, just 1/4 cup can be 140 calories!

Nuts
I'm nuts for nuts! This is heart healthy fats that taste delish and fill you up! My favs are walnuts, almonds, cashews and pistachios. Raw and unsalted are my preference. Eating too much salt makes you retain water. Boo!

Be VERY careful with your portion size! Just a 1/4 cup can be 200 calories. It's easy peasy to overeat on nuts, so measure them out before your hunger strikes!

What are YOUR favorite snacks?

Comment below and share your ideas!

oh.my.heart.

There's an ache in my heart that won't go away.

I don't know what to do about it, and I feel a bit like a shotgun all spread out looking for ways to ease the ache. I'm literally all over the place.

I ache for something.

But I can't quite figure it out yet.

I look at causes to jump into.

I look at getting more involved with our church.

I dream of mission trips with my older daughters.

I hear of different organizations I can partner with to advocate for the orphan.

And I stay up late looking through pages and pages of waiting children to adopt.

Source

oh.my.heart.

The need is HUGE.

There are literally thousands of children here in AMERICA who need a family.

There are kabillions of children with special needs waiting for a family to say YES to them all over the world. Meanwhile, they wait.

I've looked. 


I've cried.


I've asked.

For now, it's just an ache.

Hopefully soon, I'll know what to do about it.

Until then, I keep turning it back over to my Lord who holds the hands of each lonely child in our world and He knows the plans He has for them.

And for me.

It's your CHOICE.

I've heard it so many times, I really couldn't even count.

"It's too expensive to eat healthy..."

I am here to tell you that I bought all our groceries today for 7 people for a week for $86.

$86.


7 people.


FOR REAL.

Now, that said, I still had some remaining staples in my cupboard and freezer that when I planned our meals (bfast, lunch, snacks and dinner!) I didn't have to buy those items because I had them already.

But really, planning meals and now the actual snacks that we'll eat in the afternoon is NOT that difficult.

(With my iPhone and the app "Mealboard" I can plan all our food with a few clicks and it generates an organized grocery list that I tick off as I shop through the store. It has an added feature where I can import recipes from online sites and I can also manually enter our family's favorites. SO EASY!!)

I get weary of people using the expense of fresh fruit and vegetables as an excuse to not eat healthy. I buy what is on sale, in season and use frozen versions when they aren't available fresh. I learn to eat new things and serve them to my family (MORE THAN ONCE to see if they really don't like it!)

The exposing question is: what ELSE are you buying at the store?

And...are you swinging through any establishment that serves you food quickly at any point during your week?

Are you spending your grocery money on soda? On frozen dinners? Prepackaged convenience foods? Are you feeding your children junk food...just because it's "cheap?"

Let me back up and say that I used to eat junk.

I used to have a serious addiction to sugar, fat and salt. Any combination thereof made my mouth water. I would gobble it up and secretly wish I had the nerve to order a second!

How did the change happen?

It was INTENTIONAL.


I meant to.

You don't leave a life of addiction (no matter what your vice!) without a serious desire, conviction, intent and support.

And like I tell all my Beachbody clients, you don't just wake up one day and suddenly eat fresh fruits, whole grains and turn down all items fried and made with sugar. Your caffeine habit doesn't just walk off with another lover and a desire to workout doesn't come in a package you order online.

It's a choice.

I have made this choice first of all for myself. As I leaned into a healthy lifestyle, I saw positive changes in the body I had given up on. This fueled me to try more...which continued to encourage me. My husband began to want similar things to eat, he (after years of watching me workout daily) began to desire to work through P90X and later Insanity, and our children have been watching and listening and actually ask for a snack of raw carrots.

All because of a choice.

None of it happened overnight. None of it. My resolve waived and faltered. But I had a group of people I was hanging with online who encouraged me. They challenged me. They spoke to me when I was ready to throw in the towel. And now, here I am 5 years later feeling better than I ever have. And I'm 5 years OLDER too! ;)

I want you to know that if you are TIRED of being TIRED, if you are stressed by the COST of good foods, if you are tired of buying new clothes that are ELASTIC in nature and you dread your child asking you to come play outside with him... I want you to know: you don't have to live like this.

You can change.

You can.

But YOU must be the one who steps out of what is comfortable, normal and easy.

Choose to step away from living addicted to bad food. Choose to get healthy. Choose to feel good. You'll be SO GLAD you did!!

Swept off my feet...by Mr. Virus

Immediately after Zeb's adoption became permanent we traveled home.

Home.

That word just has a lovely ring to it, doesn't it?

Home to where we both grew up. It will always be home to us. :)

The next morning I pushed through a normally fun workout.

But...it felt overly hard.

I took Anneli shopping. I felt overly exhausted.

My muscles hurt.

I felt as though I might pass out.

I had eaten properly but grabbed a healthy snack anyway. (Oh thank you Trader Joe, might you come open a store near me??? Please pretty, please??)

The snack didn't help.

By that afternoon I was seeking solace on a front room sofa of the home where we were partying for my niece.

Pain had begun.

I don't know what the name of this Mr. Virus was, but he took me down.

Hard.
I laid in bed for 4 days. Writhing in pain for a good day and a half.

No appetite.

No energy.

Just serious stomach cramping and back muscle pain.

I could do nothing.

Easter came and went.

I could hear the family gathering in the outer rooms.

Laughter, dogs barking as they played, children's pitter pattering feet and squeals of delight!

Apparently Easter happened.

The next day I watched on Facebook (via phone) all the lovely family pictures taken in outfits of lovely pastel hues. I never even saw my children the entire day. It was that bad.

Fortunately for me, we have a Kindle! I re-read Crazy Love by Francis Chan, watched the entire season of Downton Abbey and read another 450 page novel after that!

Today, I got up.
(Yes, somewhere in there we drove the 3 hours home. But it took 4. Don't ask.)

Have you ever felt like your days are mundane?

Wonder if maybe your work really may not matter?

Has your spouse ever come home and asked, "So honey, what did you do today?" and you know you were busy but couldn't really point to any one thing?

Ever felt that?

When I got up today, I realized one thing quite clearly:

 MY WORK MATTERS.

OMW.

Like for real.

Nothing Very little had been unpacked.


Nothing Very little had been put away.


Nothing Very little had been tidied.


And...no laundry had been washed.

Multiply that times 7 people, take out 1 for illness and multiply times 100 for the work that she normally performs on behalf of the other 6 and well...you get a royal disaster.

My point is...

the daily tasks of "keeping house" and shaping the lives of children may not LOOK like much, but it is.

Oh, how it is.

And sometimes it takes a nasty Mr. Virus to sweep me off my feet for me to understand that no matter how repetitive it may seem, my work matters.

Point taken.

Lesson learned.

Mr. Virus, will you please go now?!

(Truth be told, I have laundry to heave up and down stairs, beds to change, a vacuum to run, floors to sweep but it took me forever and a day just to clean the kitchen and I needed a break...so you got a blog post!!)


*I must take a moment to specially thank my amazing husband who DID do so very much while I laid there on the bed in agony. He called off work so I wouldn't have to travel in my condition. And to my extended family as well. Easter memories were not denied any of my children! And a special thanks to a dear KM who took amazing care of me after we came back to our house once Brian and kids returned to work/school!!!! THANK YOU!!!!! I am humbled by your love and acts of service. I could not have survived without you. Bless you all!!! 

Officially Ours!!

Today our local probate judge signed our finalization papers to declare once and for all:

Zareb is OURS!!!

We are so happy! What a "Good Friday" it is indeed!!

We DOUBLY rejoice today!

This adoption of a former orphan now is our son FOREVER

...and

Jesus Christ gave His life on the cross and rose from the dead all so we might be adopted as children of God!!

He has not left us as orphans! He has come!

Happy Easter to everyone!

Adjustment

Living with my littles is a delight.

Living with my littles is a challenge.

Living with my littles energizes me and makes me laugh.

Living with my littles drains me and makes me cry.

How can both of these extremes be true?

I don't know. I just know they are.

There are moments I am so overcome with the TASK and just keeping them out of trouble that I wonder, "What in the world am I doing with an extra child?"

There are moments that my heart is filled to the brim and overflows and I weep with joy as I kiss their peanut buttered faces.

Around comes another moment, often no more than a beat later, that tests my very sanity and pushes my patience to the extreme. Again.

Yet when it's all quiet, the sun has gone to bed and the tucking in has finished, I lie in my bed nearly passing out from exhaustion I think, "This is it! This is what my Jesus has called me to. Some days its fun! Most days it's nothing but work, but this is it!"

And a smile creeps over my face. 

I have laughed.

I have cried.

I have clapped my hands in sheer delight.

I have wrung those same hands in frustration.

This child you have added to our family, Lord...he is OURS. He is so incredibly special. He has his idiosyncrasies. They push my buttons on some days. On others I am filled with patience and compassion for those same annoyances.

And I step back from the moment and SEE.

He was once lost, alone, abandoned. Crying. Desperate. Hurting. Frightened. Dumbfounded.

Now he has a place. He belongs. He has a bed, warm clothes, shoes. He laughs, runs, asks to be tickled and sings to himself.

So often he catches his reflection in a mirror and proudly declares, "Zebby! I'm not in an orphanage anymore! I'm in a family!" (I've shared this a few times on Facebook when he says this, but he says it A LOT. It truly has made a huge impression on him! And me!)

God has done this good thing. He has rescued my child from a life of homelessness on the streets of Uganda. And brought him here--to a family. Our family. Around our table. Under our roof. Into our van.

And most importantly...

                                ...into our hearts.

He is every bit one of us now.

His adoption will be final this Friday.

I could not be MORE excited!!! A judge will sign the finalization order and I'll pick it up later that day. You might want to listen on Friday morning, because you'll probably hear the cries of joy emit from my heart!!!

Celebration!

Elation!

And...I wonder, will there be fear? Will I be able to mother this child through all his ups and downs? His short life has seen SUCH TRAGEDY. I am no mender of hearts...but God is here and He does that. But will I be able to help him be mended by our Jesus? Will my own shortcomings get in the way?

I do not permit these questions room to dwell. I do not need to be in those future moments. I am called to today, to be faithful with the now.

And right now, we are feeling like family.

We are adjusting.

Thank you, Lord!

In the Shelter of the Father

Being a mother of two stagger-stepped toddlers has been a challenge in no uncertain terms. Yet I cannot remember a time in my life where I have ever experienced God in such real ways.

Apparently when you are emptied of yourself: all your ability, all your own power, all your own strength you become desperate for Him, well, He shows up!

What a great gift!!!

As you may know, many of us in the north are experiencing unusually warm temperatures and sunny days (HOORAY!) and there are a slew of storms that accompany this pre-spring treat.

Often they come at night.

When we sleep.

Well, most of us are sleeping.

Except one tiny Shaw. She's the youngest. She's the littlest. She's the one who sleeps the lightest. And she likes to let us know about it!

Across the 1,022 nights of her life we have been up with her many, many, many times. Responding to her cries, delivering water, finding Fluffernutter the Elephant who has once again tumbled to the floor.

I cannot say that my weary bones have delighted in these nightly treks across the squeaky wooden planks of the floor...trying not to trip on toys as I navigate my way to her toddler bed. No, no, far from it. I'm sad to say I've grumbled in my heart quite a bit. :(

Earlier this week we had a very loud, flashy storm that came complete with howling wind and pelting rain that crashed against the glass like bullets. I woke up too!

Suddenly our door was thrown open with a vehemence that only our Darrah Kate uses and I heard the toddling steps pass by Brian's side of the bed.

"Mommy? I scaaaaared!" she meekly pleaded.

It must have been God taking over because my immediate response was to swoop her up in my arms to hold and cradle her. Instantly I discovered she was violently trembling. She was so very, very frightened of the wildness just outside the glass window.

My heart broke for her. This was HUGE. She had very little past memory of wild storms to recall that she might be okay. She shook with the terror that she might be swept away!

I covered her quaking body with my own and pulled her into bed. Gone were the thoughts of ME...how was I going to get up for my workouts in a few short hours...I will filled with the love of our Father Himself.

Verses began to stream into my consciousness as I continued to shush, stroke her sweet hair and kiss her brow.

"The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble." Psalm 9:9


"For You are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach," Psalm 61:3


"He will cover you with His feathers.
He will shelter you with His wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day." Psalm 91:4-5


I was overcome with emotion. Parenting is such a window into the loving heart of our own Father. I was flooded by His love for me in that precious moment. As I was wrapped around my own daughter's small sleeping body I knew for sure that His arms were wrapped around us both. 


She finally stilled. The trembling had stopped. 


Peace came.


Rest.


Sleep.

Taken during an afternoon storm that interrupted her nap time.

Not for me, but for her. And I reveled in the fact that my own Father never slumbers nor sleeps. He holds me as I sleep toss-and-turn  and He is the One who gives me the strength to live the next day. I held my little child in my arms now safe and satisfied that the violence outside would not consume her...and I felt drawn deeper into this love with the God of the Universe.


Only God can give a gift like that at 2 am.


So although I am a bit tons weary the next day... and am looking anxiously to the toddlers' nap time for my own rest, I am drawn closer to the heart of God through this job to which He has called me.


And I am so grateful.

How to Clean a Sippy Cup...and Never Be the Same Again!

Source

The other day I rather mindlessly asked Darrah Kate to put her sippy cup into the dishwasher.

I thought nothing of it, didn't check to see if she would do it. (Life moves fast around here!) And I did not remember this small request.

Fast forward 20 hours.

It was after the morning rush to get the children on the bus...I had returned with the two littles and was beginning to put away the "fall out" from the morning.

There it sat. That same sippy cup. Sealed. Along with the other items that our "I'm-too-short-to-put-it-away-properly" child had stacked along the counter for me to put away into the cupboard. The very sippy cup I'd asked DQ to take to the dishwasher.

It was clean.

On the outside.

But...

...on the inside it had yesterday's milk.

(Are you "ewwwwing" yet???)

And as I opened up that sippy cup, I thought about our lives.

How often are we like that cup?

Do we wash our outside, making sure we appear clean but truly, inwardly we are carrying around sour milk?

How careful are we to keep up appearances? To clean our house for company? To only put make-up on for the days we have somewhere to go? To name drop around people who "matter?" To talk in ways that show off our intelligence, or hide our emotions from the outside world?

Mm-hmmm.

But what about the INSIDE OF OUR CUPS???

What about the person who thinks that because they attend church or read the Bible that they are "clean?"

What REALLY makes us clean on the inside, anyway?

Can we know for SURE?
Can we possibly DO ENOUGH to be truly clean?

Good news! The answers are YES and NO, respectively.

Yes, we CAN know for certain that we are clean on the inside!
                                     and
No, we cannot possibly do enough to be truly clean.

Huh?

It's the message that changed my life.

I am a dirty sippy cup with rotten milk inside. I have done all I can to try and clean up, but no matter how many times I go through the dishwasher cycle, I still reek of my rottenness. It's called "sin."

I am helpless. Oh, I can put on a pretty good show, for sure. But I know deep down that my insides are rotten. They are NOT clean. And I cannot seem to purify myself for the life of me!

But there is one who CAN. His name? You've heard it before: Jesus. He has come to earth, lived a sinless life, died for me on the cross (my very sins/rotten milk are the reason He died!) and then absolutely conquered death by rising from the dead! That act: His death and resurrection bought my freedom! You see, it was my rightful place--that death. My rotten milk/sin's punishment is death and total separation from God forever.

But the beauty is this: He didn't wait for me to run my life through the dishwasher before He died for me. He did it while I still was covered in the sticky fingerprints on the outside too!

"When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners." (Romans 5:6)

You see, if I were a glorious looking and sweet smelling sippy cup, someone might dare to die for me. But read this:

"God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." (Romans 5:8)

Wow! Serious GOOD NEWS!!!!

There is no good you can do to earn God's favor. He sees right through the walls and insulation of your sippy cup.

HE KNOWS WHAT IS INSIDE YOU. 

                                ...AND HE LOVES YOU!!!

See, He doesn't love because of WHAT you have inside (or how pretty/clean you are on the outside!)

He loves you because He made you. That alone gives you VALUE. Plus, He sees the potential you have. The potential to reach your BEST for Him.

You matter.

You.

He wants you. He loves you. He wants to clean you once and for all. No more dishwasher cycles, no more attempts to earn "points" for your good behavior.

He wants to overwhelm you with His love. He longs to set you free from keeping up appearances.

What does it cost?

It's free.

That's hard to take in, isn't it?

But do not be fooled, following Jesus is free, but it will cost you everything.

Huh?

That's right.

It is a free gift, but one which will so change you that it will cost you what you used to be. That free  LOVE will overwhelm you and clean and will begin to work inside of you.

You will no longer want the things you used to want.

You will begin to want what HE wants.

Your friends may not understand, your priorities will change and you will begin to live each of your days with great purpose, meaning and joy.

You will give up things that have recently mattered. But you will discover that these are not truly sacrifices at all...they are a joy to lay down to know this new, deep, pure love!

You will RADIATE WITH TRUE JOY!!!!

My prayer is that this day will not pass before you allow Christ to wash you clean and make you HIS VERY OWN.

How?

*Understand that you are a sinner. That ugly, stinky, rotten milk is yours. Own it. Then confess it. That's just a fancy word for "tell God about it." But don't worry, He already knows. You won't pull any big surprises.

*Understand that the death of Jesus was for YOU. For your stinkin' sippy cup. It was indeed for other people's as well, but this is personal. Jesus loves YOU. And His sacrifice was made with YOU YOU YOU in mind.

*Tell Him that you want that sacrifice to be for you. Ask Him to come and clean you out. Sit quietly. Wait for it. He will come with His Spirit and do that very work. It's a tummy-flipping amazing experience for some people! It's a quiet new belief for others.

*Tell someone important in your life what you've just done. You could say, "Dude! My sippy cup is CLEAN!" (well, that may not translate very well, but if you tell that to ME, I'll get ya!) ;) Be sure to tell a trusted friend or someone who also walks with Jesus about your experience. Don't keep it to yourself. You need to share your happy news!

*Get busy living your new life. Learn all you can. Study a book in the Bible. I suggest John or Philippians to begin. Find a church nearby that worships the God of the Bible. Seek out a new friend. Pray. Talk to God like He's sitting right there with you--that's a new truth in your life: HE IS!!!

*Share this news with the people you care about! Even ones you have never met. The truth is that your life is brief on this planet and you've got something worth SHARING WITH EVERYONE!

You Cannot Change the World with a Click

Surprise, surprise! You cannot change the world with a click of the "Share" button on Facebook.

But oh, we'd love that wouldn't we?

We could sit back on our comfy sofas, think about ourselves and our needs, have a heart for 30 minutes for the world and click "Share" and feel GOOD that we've done our part in saving the world and then go back to our self indulgence.

Although we would LIKE that, it isn't like that. And for good reason. Wow. Imagine how much MORE full of ourselves we would become! Already our country is at a dangerous state of comfort, self indulgence and ethnocentrism.


Let me let you in on what has been brewing in my mind since last night.

As I watched a very well made movie by a talented man about Joseph Kony, it hit on a very tender nerve for me: suffering children. I looked at several things before I posted and gave my social support, but I certainly did not look into the sponsoring group's method of handling donations. And as time has given my brain time to percolate, I've considered that maybe I don't want to help make an evil man famous. The end goal of the video Kony 2012 is to raise awareness in the US so that our leadership will send/maintain troops in Africa to help find Kony. At first glance this seems great. But I've begun to wonder, is this the BEST way? I am not doubting our militia/intelligence, I'm just wondering if this targeted method by Jason Russell is the best way to end this horrifying war and crimes against humanity.

The idea of the Kony 2012 video is great: let's do SOMETHING to help. Let's rally our voices, utilize our social media tools and move our leadership to solve the problem. I like this. I do. But reality is that things are complicated. Things are not so black and white and "just click here" to solve the problem.

The thing is, this has been going on for 26 years. TWENTY SIX YEARS. The idea of removing Kony is a great one, it will not solve all the problems borne from this crisis any more than our adoption of one orphan solved the orphan crisis for the entire planet.

Reality is, this is a VERY COMPLICATED MATTER. We cannot sit at home and judge the best way to solve such things anymore than we can read a friend's status update that she's a bit blue and tell her exactly how to get over it.


WE CANNOT FIX AFRICA. ONLY JESUS CAN.

And He can! Oh yes He can! And His healing will be one heart at a time.

I am so glad we have all become aware of this war criminal and the people who have been victimized. They need our prayers. And shocking as it may be, Joseph Kony needs our prayers. He must be stopped and then he needs some serious mercy. It is counter my all human nature to want to pray FOR him, but we can rest in the knowledge that our God is JUST. He is also forgiving, and these matters are only between Kony and the Almighty. We are commanded to pray for our enemies. And I qualify him as my enemy because I align myself with the helpless children.

So, if clicking "share" on Facebook isn't going to solve the LRA problem and tweeting to get Kony famous isn't going to do it, what will?

So glad you asked.

I don't know.

But I do know this, it won't be easy. It will require sacrifice. It will require involvement. Two things we Americans just really don't want to do very much, do we?

Here's a story I came across today, of a woman becoming DOWNWARDLY MOBILE for the sake of Christ. She literally moved into a trailer park to better minister to fringe people for whom God had burdened her heart.

Ah. Now that involves sacrifice. That involves involvement!

See here's the thing, if saving my soul from sin cost my Savior EVERYTHING...why on earth would I assume I could get off scot free by an easy road? If I want to walk with Jesus, doing the work He has for me in this world, it will cost me. (Click here if you want to read Jesus say it in His own words.)

I do not have any answers about what needs to be done. I think the people who have been studying this problem don't know either. But I DO respect them, after all they haven't looked at a problem and shied away from it because it was too hard. They invented a solution. It may or may not be the right one, but they got involved. And although I may not get behind them 100%, I sure respect them for sticking their neck out and working for change.

I want to be keeping my eyes on Jesus and march when He says march. And He just might. I'm just waiting for the word.

Who is Joseph Kony? Glad you asked...

Few things make me angrier than children being victimized.

I hope this is true for you too.

I am sure it would be, if you KNEW.

But first, I have a few questions for you.

Would you help rescue a child if it required you to give up your current lifestyle?

Let's back it down.

Would you help rescue a child if it cost you an evening out with your friends?

Let's back it down a bit more.

Would you help rescue a child if it took the cost of your morning coffee?

Well what if it were this easy...

WOULD YOU HELP RESCUE A CHILD IF IT WERE FREE, AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR COMPUTER????

I hope you said YES!
(see your step to action at the bottom.)

There is a nasty man named Joseph Kony who is loose in central Africa. You have probably never heard his name before. But you will. Oh yes, you will.

You might think he's running for president. I hope you do some quick investigating. You will see that he is not. Far from it. He's running, but FROM the president. That's right, Barack Obama sent 100 US troops to find and arrest this man last fall. Why didn't we hear about it?

Hmmmm.

(Let me make a parenthetical note here. I do not watch the news. I do not keep up. I am so incredibly swamped with my own life (sick face here) that I don't invest much energy at all into following the news. It's quite possible that people DID know of this and I just missed it. But if so, NO ONE I  KNOW HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!)

There are going to be YAHOOS who comment that a simple click to share something on Facebook is NOT going to rescue a child. Skip it. Don't give me flack. Use your energy toward something that MATTERS.

Back in 2006, I was in the process of leaving my American life to rescue children in India. God had other plans. He took our son Oskar at that very moment in time. I have every intention of moving to India someday and saving children. As you know if you've been reading my blog, in that time frame of being "redirected" we have adopted a child from Uganda.

What kept him-our Zebby-out of the clutches of Kony? I do not know. He is here now, he will not be abducted, forced to kill, rape, maim and trained to hate. But...what about the OTHERS???

I watched this video by Francis Chan earlier this week (thanks Shelly!) and it's been rolling around and around in my head. The question keeps coming back to me: Why is an "emergency" only an emergency if it happens to ME or MY CHILDREN? Are not ALL CHILDREN precious? Is not it time to give up my things, resources, to respond to such an emergency? Does it matter where they were born?

I have learned about Kony tonight. I cannot help thinking of the verse that says, "Rescue the perishing; don't hesitate to step in and help. If you say, "Hey, that's none of my business," will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know--Someone not impressed with weak excuses." Proverbs 24:11-12 (The Message)


I know of people that only quote verses that they like, or that offer comfort to themselves. This one from Proverbs sure won't be on their list of favs! But like it or not, we are called to justice.


I am not pretending that a simple click will save the life of a child. I know it won't. But educating people about WHO Kony is will put into motion some actions that will STOP THE CRIMINAL and therefore save children.


What are you waiting for?


Watch this: (Yes, it's 30 minutes of your time life. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think it was important. It's worth it. I promise.)

KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

I hope that you will leave your comfortable life and go and meet these people face to face. I hope you would be willing to give up a night out with your friends to make your voice heard. I hope you would be willing to part with $4 from a morning's coffee indulgence to help stop a world class atrocity. But if at the very minimum all you do is share this video, then you've done SOMETHING.

(I cannot end this post without reminding you that I met, held hands with, shared a meal with children (then and maybe still HOMELESS ON THE STREETS) who were victimized by this very man. If you want a recap, go here to read the story from last August as we met Sunday and Simon. There faces, their stories and this evil man are burning in my heart tonight.)

Ever Wonder What goes On...on the INSIDE??

Do you read blogs and wonder, "Really? Is it all really just like...THAT?"

Are you considering adoption of a child or children and wonder if it's really all sunshine and puppies?

Are you forever waiting on your referral and wish there was SOMETHING you could read that would help you? Something that would help prepare your heart for what is coming? Something to inspire a new list of heartfelt things to pray for in yourself and in your future family member(s)?

Have you already adopted and found your emotions are a bit different from everything you've ever read on blogs and people's Facebook?

Are you currently REALLY STRUGGLING and want to know if there are other people who might understand?

Are you just  GOING CRAZY and wonder if you are all alone?

Well if so, listen up!!

A few of my fellow adoptive friends have begun a new blog called Sharing Adoption Truth. The purpose is to give a window to the real-life inside for those who need to hear it. As it says on the site, we tend to hide the hard and broadcast the beautiful. But now, defying the fairy tale stories, real adoptive moms will share their stories on this collective blog so that YOU can hear it. I will make contributions as the Lord opens my time frame and gives me His words.

You can go there now and just link up so you are ready! There are two stories up already! :)

Adoption is such a phenomenal thing! We mimic our Lord Jesus who adopted us...ugly, sinful and crusty and made us HIS! Reading real adoption stories may not be easy, but you will see the hope of Christ and how He triumphs in each and every one of our stories.

Cheers to Christ-empowered truth sharing!!

Raw and Real

With a post title like that, you know it's gonna be ugly.

Dontcha?
I cannot bring myself to blog often. Let me be raw and real with you: parenting two toddlers who are stagger stepped in age by 7 months is nothing short of HARD, THANKLESS WORK.

We have come to realize that adoption is not all it's cracked up to be. Well, we have given a very needy child a home, more importantly a family...and we've given ourselves more and more WORK.

Better look at that with some "Christian-ese" right? We've given ourselves "more opportunity to trust God."

I think that is what most people would say. That sure sounds better than, "Man this is WAAAAY harder than I ever dreamed!!"

I have discovered that I truly love the IDEA of adoption but the actual work of adoption, not so much. I love the idea of rallying people to help, but the actual helping part, well...that's what I've rallied people together for, right?

Please do not misread me: I love adoption! And I adore Zareb!!! (The children waiting for families break my heart daily!)

But I am NOT liking the discomfort adoption causes in my life. It's clipped my wings in every sense of the word. 

One of the most challenging seasons I have faced, this first 5 months home has been full of so much. And the bulk of it I cannot share. Just know that if you've felt a burden to pray for our family, we have and still do indeed need it.

Something I have come face to face with about myself is that I am a visionary. That's great and awesome when a group needs a leader. When people need motivated. It's great when direction needs to be found. But it's not so great when life is so repetitive, exhausting and well, daily. (You've heard this before from me lately haven't you?)

I have been given hope by those who listen as I bare my soul that God is working on me. At first this thought shocked me. I truly thought NOTHING GOOD was happening. We are not progressing in potty training, I am not progressing in my patience level, I am not doing anything different than I did 4 weeks ago. (I really need to see PROGRESS in order to keep going!) But here it was from two different sources:

"God is working in you. Doing a great thing. He's getting you READY."

Really???

My soul perks up at this. Hope. I feel the lightness of the wind of hope blowing gently into my sails.

God might truly be changing me through...this???

I have now observed myself able to clean up giardia-filled diarrhea that spills out of diapers without losing my head. I stayed up till 2 am last night rocking a feverish Zebby filled with nothing but love and adoration for him. (Previously, I am QUITE SURE I would have been far more worried about how I'd survive the next day because of my "sacrifice!" Blech!) I've knelt down and tried to patiently decipher his stammering sentences. And we've made it out the door for the bus this week with everyone in happy moods and we haven't even missed the bus once this week.

Could it be true?

God is working on me in this...daily nothingness?

YES. It comes to me resoundingly.

Also that I am not surrounded by mundane. This is not "nothingness." I am given a front row seat to the metamorphic changes in a former orphan and a selfish woman. These are the building block moments for his life. These are the slow one-step-forward-two-steps-back days of healing. And for our little Darrah Kate as well. These are the moments that provide them a good strong, solid start in life that they need. The solid base of love they need to know is always here. Their God-infused years of toddlerhood that launch them into life.

This gives me the hope and encouragement to carry on. To see this thing through. To love without measure. To trust my exhaustion and personal needs into the hands of my Savior. He's promised to not only never leave me, but meet all my needs according to His riches (not in accordance to my lack!).

And there I rest.

Time to dole out a snack and change the laundry over. And stop these two from fighting over the Barbie laptop.

The Chisel He Chooses

Oh friends. It has been awhile.

I have wanted to write...but then I realize there is no time yet again. And then I wonder, "about what would I even write?" Certainly you don't have any more time than I. I surely don't want to waste your time on empty words.

Ever have seasons of your life that you just wonder if anything is really HAPPENING?

It's awfully fun to start a new job, have a new baby, get engaged, be called to a new place of ministry and watch God open doors left and right. The high is truly unlike anything else!

And then...you get there. You assimilate as best you can. Your learning is on a high curve and you begin to "feel it." You are doing it! Your new thing He's given is yours and it feels amazing!

And then, things just sort of settle. You adjust. You forge out a new normal.

Normal.

Can't say I like the word, really.

Life is really quite daily. Not many biographies say this. And why would they? Biographies are written about the INCREDIBLE things that have taken place in a person's life. Things worth remembering.

The daily stuff, well, it isn't book worthy. But it is what life is really full of.

The missionary that goes off to his most heart's desired land...

The aching infertile woman delivers her most treasured baby...

The advocate sees her bill pass into law...

The student crosses the stage and is now called graduate...

THEN WHAT?

Life. The daily stuff.

So, I think you get me. That's where I sit. My life consists of parenting a most incredible set of Shaw children. Five of them. (One of me. One of my husband. Oh my yes, we are very outnumbered!) Our lives are drained completely by the end of each day.

I have so many, many moments when I wonder why such things are happening. How did I get here? Is this really what I wanted? Why are things so difficult? Is there anyone in this house looking out for ME...or is it only the other way around?

Self. It's always there. Pushing to get more "air time."

I almost think with so many toddlers in the house (there are at least seven I am convinced!) that the selfish part of me rises up STRONGER. They think so little of my needs that I think of them MORE intensely than normally.

I don't like this. I pray each morning for God to fill me. For there to be less of ME and more of Him. Not even a "less and more" equation, but a total replacement of me with Him.

Oh yes, this is what I crave.

Yet, the puzzles are poured out all over the floor (again), the drink got spilled all over the homework (again), the potty mistake causes more clean up involving more time than we have causing us to be late (again), the plant is torn apart by little hands (again), the book pages ripped out (again), the game pieces are now lost in a moment of sheer toddler delight as they threw them around while I was upstairs folding laundry (again).

This is my new normal. This is where I have settled.

I find myself not wanting this normal. I want to reject it. I want them to hurry up through toddlerhood. Start being responsible. Start contributing to the family rather than causing diasters in their wake.

But this is not my choice. This is what He is using in my life to bring about what He has for me to learn. Not to mention the purpose of directing their little lives toward the God of Creation.

These disasters, these fits they throw...I am not proud to say that I do not respond as I want to. I am with Paul the writer of this passage from Romans 7: 19:
"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing."

I realized yesterday that God will not come busting in and deliver His Spirit of gentleness to me as I blaze in anger at the situation. No. He is not a God who forces Himself on His people. He waits for us to turn to Him.

In those very overwhelming moments I must stop and ask Him for His presence to overtake me. He is more than able to handle my trying situations, why then do I carry on as if I have no help from on high?

I was delighting in the presence of my fellow sisters in Christ today. As we considered the Word and God's ways, a friend said something about "pondering the work He is doing in us as He uses the chisel He has chosen."

The chisel He has chosen.

Source

I love that.

Who of us comes to our Lord and asks for pain and suffering? Who of us chooses our chisel?

Do we approach God in prayer and request that He grant us a child with a life threatening disease so we could learn what lessons He might have for us?

Do we ask for people to lie about us and falsely accuse us so we can better understand the suffering of our Savior?

Might we pray for God to allow us to be fired from our job so we can know that we depend upon Him alone to provide?

Would we ask for a fire to come and blaze through all our possessions so we could learn the lesson of dependence upon Him?

No, no, no and no. We do not choose our chisels. Thank God!!

I have long ago given my life to Jesus. I have written out on a sticky note in the front of my Bible, "God has the freedom to do in my life as He chooses." And then over the years I have added the things that He's brought into my life that I never saw coming. So many good things. Many that have been hard. But none have I chosen.

And so I come back to my little house full of children and their squabbles, messes and whiny attitudes. I turn my eyes back to the mound of unfolded laundry that waits for my attention. I smell that rancid smell of yet another diarrhea filled diaper. I catch the child's eyes that toy with me to see if I'll be a faithful mother to him, unlike the one who left before. I see that the dog hair has once again collected along the baseboards, waiting for my broom. The homework left on the table that didn't make it into the school bag. The bag of groceries waiting for me to turn it into dinner.

This is my current chisel.

And really, it's not bad. Not bad at all!
(Are we not so very well aware of the billions of chisels that we do not want?) 

God is carefully teaching us through the circumstances He permits in our lives. He has lovingly crafted a curriculum for each one of us. No one has the same schedule, classes or lessons. It is tailored exactly for us. What a beautiful thing!

And I pray in this moment for me to learn what He has for me through this chisel He has chosen.


"Teach me, Lord. Help me to not waste these moments on my selfish thoughts. Carve me into the shape you desire using this present chisel."