Adjustment

Living with my littles is a delight.

Living with my littles is a challenge.

Living with my littles energizes me and makes me laugh.

Living with my littles drains me and makes me cry.

How can both of these extremes be true?

I don't know. I just know they are.

There are moments I am so overcome with the TASK and just keeping them out of trouble that I wonder, "What in the world am I doing with an extra child?"

There are moments that my heart is filled to the brim and overflows and I weep with joy as I kiss their peanut buttered faces.

Around comes another moment, often no more than a beat later, that tests my very sanity and pushes my patience to the extreme. Again.

Yet when it's all quiet, the sun has gone to bed and the tucking in has finished, I lie in my bed nearly passing out from exhaustion I think, "This is it! This is what my Jesus has called me to. Some days its fun! Most days it's nothing but work, but this is it!"

And a smile creeps over my face. 

I have laughed.

I have cried.

I have clapped my hands in sheer delight.

I have wrung those same hands in frustration.

This child you have added to our family, Lord...he is OURS. He is so incredibly special. He has his idiosyncrasies. They push my buttons on some days. On others I am filled with patience and compassion for those same annoyances.

And I step back from the moment and SEE.

He was once lost, alone, abandoned. Crying. Desperate. Hurting. Frightened. Dumbfounded.

Now he has a place. He belongs. He has a bed, warm clothes, shoes. He laughs, runs, asks to be tickled and sings to himself.

So often he catches his reflection in a mirror and proudly declares, "Zebby! I'm not in an orphanage anymore! I'm in a family!" (I've shared this a few times on Facebook when he says this, but he says it A LOT. It truly has made a huge impression on him! And me!)

God has done this good thing. He has rescued my child from a life of homelessness on the streets of Uganda. And brought him here--to a family. Our family. Around our table. Under our roof. Into our van.

And most importantly...

                                ...into our hearts.

He is every bit one of us now.

His adoption will be final this Friday.

I could not be MORE excited!!! A judge will sign the finalization order and I'll pick it up later that day. You might want to listen on Friday morning, because you'll probably hear the cries of joy emit from my heart!!!

Celebration!

Elation!

And...I wonder, will there be fear? Will I be able to mother this child through all his ups and downs? His short life has seen SUCH TRAGEDY. I am no mender of hearts...but God is here and He does that. But will I be able to help him be mended by our Jesus? Will my own shortcomings get in the way?

I do not permit these questions room to dwell. I do not need to be in those future moments. I am called to today, to be faithful with the now.

And right now, we are feeling like family.

We are adjusting.

Thank you, Lord!