Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Wounded Children in Healing Homes

I went to a training last night, it was called:

Wounded Children, Healing Homes
The workshop was given by Jayne Schooler and she authored this book pictured here. (Yes, I'm totally going to get it on my Kindle!!)

I learned more about the impact that trauma has on children...

the 5 critical times when trauma can be inflicted

and how






Children hurting. Children who were victims.

Innocence. Robbed.

Then the workshop shifted to how to become and maintain being a


for the children who suffer from trauma, neglect and abuse.

It was fascinating.

Some people would say, "there's no way I would mess up my family and take that risk,"

others might say, "I might do that after my real children have grown up and moved out,"

still others might say, "that's really heroic what you are doing for those kids, but I never could."

And then there are those of us that have said

to the fatherless
to the hurting
to wounded
right now:

we know the work that it is.

the feeling of utter exhaustion.

the daily wondering if we can do it all over again.

But then we find strength in HIM.

He who called us.

His Word encourages. It lifts us up.

I hear His Word in my mind as I climb the stairs on an exhausted evening with toddlers hollering at various levels throughout the house, "Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31a

I wonder, do those who say they could NEVER do this,

        do they wonder what they are missing?

We almost backed out of adoption back in 2010. We had been told a horror story that was enough to scare the eyebrows off of anybody.

But the Lord softly spoke to my husband's heart, "Let Me bless you," and we trusted and moved forward anyway.

I watched a video tonight posted by my blogging friend, Adeye.

She and her family have adopted many times. (I just did a re-count. They have 9 kids!) Recently they brought home a beautiful but very wounded daughter, a 14 year old who weighed just 14 pounds from the neglected corner of an orphanage in Bulgaria.

I cannot speak to what it must have been like to first meet her, and see her condition in the moment by moment.

But I see NOW the video she just posted a few hours ago of their daughter, deeply traumatized, horrifically delayed






She has for the first time experienced love.

For the first time felt safe.

For the first time known that her cries would be answered.

And that does something amazing for a wounded child.

For the first time, she can laugh! LAUGH! Can you imagine?! When your entire life is based in fear and wondering if your most basic needs will be met...she is LAUGHING NOW!!!

Please, I encourage you to take a look at the "laughter and everlasting joy" on the face of their beloved daughter, Hasya. Click here to read this post and watch her video of her daughter responding to the loving touch of a brother and her father.

And you'll want to stick around and read more. It's deeply inspirational.

And I take great courage, and I want you to as well: we CAN be a healing home for wounded children.


  1. I absolutely LOVE seeing the little glimpses of healing that is taking place in your boy...and you have "I am blessed" written all over you....even on the exhausted days! God.is.so.good!

  2. My husband has been using the term "wounded" in his work with educators (He wrote the book "Reaching The Wounded Student"). I think it has helped many people have a better understanding of what kids are bringing with them into the classroom & how their learning, behavior, attitude, relationships, etc., is impacted by their wounds. I'm glad more people are starting to acknowledge the depth of children's pain b/c understanding is the first step to healing.

  3. That's great, Dardi! I've often said that if we could look into the past of a child and really know what they suffered we would be brought to our knees by the horror suffered and by the courage they now show.

    One tip she shared was to always realize the wounded child is not acting out because of YOU but because of the trauma and damage done to them. This helps us in the moment to have compassion rather than anger.


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