Wounded Children in Healing Homes

I went to a training last night, it was called:

Wounded Children, Healing Homes

The workshop was given by Jayne Schooler and she authored this book pictured here. (Yes, I'm totally going to get it on my Kindle!!)

I learned more about the impact that trauma has on children...

the 5 critical times when trauma can be inflicted

and how

trauma

inter

upts

develop

ment.

Children hurting. Children who were victims.

Innocence. Robbed.

Then the workshop shifted to how to become and maintain being a

HEALING HOME

for the children who suffer from trauma, neglect and abuse.

It was fascinating.

Some people would say, "there's no way I would mess up my family and take that risk,"

others might say, "I might do that after my real children have grown up and moved out,"

still others might say, "that's really heroic what you are doing for those kids, but I never could."

And then there are those of us that have said

YES
to the fatherless
to the hurting
to wounded
right now:

we know the work that it is.

the feeling of utter exhaustion.

the daily wondering if we can do it all over again.

But then we find strength in HIM.

He who called us.

His Word encourages. It lifts us up.

I hear His Word in my mind as I climb the stairs on an exhausted evening with toddlers hollering at various levels throughout the house, "Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31a

I wonder, do those who say they could NEVER do this,

        do they wonder what they are missing?

We almost backed out of adoption back in 2010. We had been told a horror story that was enough to scare the eyebrows off of anybody.

But the Lord softly spoke to my husband's heart, "Let Me bless you," and we trusted and moved forward anyway.

I watched a video tonight posted by my blogging friend, Adeye.

She and her family have adopted many times. (I just did a re-count. They have 9 kids!) Recently they brought home a beautiful but very wounded daughter, a 14 year old who weighed just 14 pounds from the neglected corner of an orphanage in Bulgaria.

I cannot speak to what it must have been like to first meet her, and see her condition in the moment by moment.

But I see NOW the video she just posted a few hours ago of their daughter, deeply traumatized, horrifically delayed

but

now

full

of

joy.

She has for the first time experienced love.

For the first time felt safe.

For the first time known that her cries would be answered.

And that does something amazing for a wounded child.

For the first time, she can laugh! LAUGH! Can you imagine?! When your entire life is based in fear and wondering if your most basic needs will be met...she is LAUGHING NOW!!!

Please, I encourage you to take a look at the "laughter and everlasting joy" on the face of their beloved daughter, Hasya. Click here to read this post and watch her video of her daughter responding to the loving touch of a brother and her father.

And you'll want to stick around and read more. It's deeply inspirational.

And I take great courage, and I want you to as well: we CAN be a healing home for wounded children.

O the things he says...and says and says!

As with all of my children, I love to write down the cute things they say. I keep little books of them and we love to go back and read them and laugh our silly heads off.

With Zareb, it's really no different. Well, maybe a little bit. The things he says, he often repeats them 5-20 times in a row. I was a little unsure if this was simply deepening his grasp on the English language (he is bilingual--for now) or what was going on. Sure enough, I learned that his repeating phrases that require my affirmation or answer over and over again is a way of connecting with me. It is a common thing among children with traumatic pasts or children who have lived in orphanages.

I am learning to be patient.

I am learning to smile and softly answer, "Yes, mommy is sitting down," for the 20th time in a row.

I am learning that it is his way of connecting deeper with me. Seeing me as his primary caregiver. (Remember, in an orphanage of 50 children, there are only hired workers and volunteers (God bless them ALL!) and they are only present in his life for certain hours before another set of people come in and take over.)

He often will tell me the obvious. But he forms it as a question.

"Are you buckling me in?" 


"Yes, I am buckling you in."


"Are you buckling me in?"


"Yes, I am buckling you in."

X 20!

Now, there are times when his phrase will stop my heart in it's tracks.

Like this one, spoken at random times (when he's full of love?):

"No mo offanage!" (that's "No more orphanage" if you don't speak Zareb!)

You hear that repeated about 20 times and you start to remember what all this hard work is for...and you smile and cherish that sweet little one.

Another common thing he does is repeat things he hears me say (yikes, right?!). One he's latched on to is:

"Mommy, I so pwoud of you!" (proud)

He'll pull that one out of thin air and at times where I am at my wit's end. I truly hear the voice of God speak to me through his little high pitched Ugandan accent.  I hear God say, "You are doing exactly what I called you to do. Hang in there. This is serving Me."

Today as I was snuggling him and kissing his toes I said something I don't usually. I said,

"I love your feet-sies." (Okay, it was weird.)

You know what i heard back?

"Oh Mommy, I love your feces!" Complete with looks of great love and waiting for me to affirm him!

Um..."Mommy loves your FEET, Zareb! Your feet!"

"Yes! I love your feces, Mommy!"

x 20!


...and one just has to laugh! We got one for the books! :)