Gable's Story…from Another Perspective

We all love a good story…and today I'm going to give you a unique opportunity to observe the adoption of Gable from another angle…my new friend Mimi's.
Who is Mimi? She's a rockstar, Jesus-loving, momma to 11 children. She has adopted some, given birth to others and is a beautiful testimony of walking with God through the hard very hard things.
She's also the momma I was connected with to learn about Gable's special need: hepatoblastoma.
Cuz I had NO CLUE what that meant. (other than "scary cancer.")
Why is Mimi an "expert-in-residence" you may ask? Because her own sweet son has this very same cancer. (Above is a picture of Mimi holding sweet baby Asa.) I received Mimi's name and contact information within 48 hours of learning about Gable. 
But read on to find out JUST HOW EXCEPTIONAL it is that we were connected!
Here's what Mimi blogged on her blog just yesterday:

I haven’t mentioned it here, but a funny little blip came across my radar two months ago.  At that point, we were truly just holding our nose above the drowning waters, knowing we were past the big waves. I got a random message from someone I know very loosely.  She knew Asa had liver cancer and asked if I would be willing to offer counsel to a family who was considering adoption of a child with liver cancer. Easy answer.  But, of course.  And I sat back and began to watch God show off.

Two years ago, not too long before Asa came along, a little boy was born to a Chinese couple, a little boy with a big liver tumor that made his belly stick out like Asa’s did.  And the same couple, I’m sure distraught with the one child policy and the thought of their only heir being imperfect, sickly, left that babe at a hospital.  Diagnosis: hepatoblastoma, the one in a million kid cancer that Asa had, the one that Texas Children’s, one of the few hospitals in the states that treats this cancer, only sees 10 cases a year from all over the southern US. But what happens next is entirely strange.  Instead of getting pitiful orphan care, this Chinese boy got top-notch, cutting-edge medical treatment.  He was stabilized, whisked in and treated with chemo-embolization – chemo straight to his liver and he went through exactly what Asa went through, the horrid secondary effects of sloughing off tumor, called tumor lysis, and he victory of all victories, survived.  It was a long hard road, but it appears, as it does with Asa, no more cancer.  He was put in an orphanage, group type home and he thrived, but no one adopted him, because that big C word, it’s scarier than a lot of more obvious physical disabilities.

But along comes a family, a family who has experienced their own loss, a family who just so happens to speak Mandarin, but God has yanked them up and dumped them in the rural central US, filled their home with a few other physical disabilities, and left them, left them a few hours from the other major hospital in the US that deals with this one in a million chance cancer.  Their house is full, very full, but along their radar comes a smiling face, a familiar face, because dark eyes and round faces are still on their hearts, and a boy named Jun Jun captures them.

And then I was called for counsel.  What is hepatoblastoma?  What does this mean?  Do you understand these medical records?  I was called, the parent of a child treated not only for this cancer, but with chemo-embolization, not a standard procedure in children in the US for this cancer.  Tony and I may be the only parents in the US at this time that would have that experiential knowledge regarding a child. Explain that. You can’t.  But God.

The story departs to a weird, seemingly diverted path at this point.  After all the discussion, the couple who inquired suddenly decided that they weren’t so sure that God was calling them to this child and went to prayer and as back up, they held their arms out and handed Jun Jun to us, the only other couple without gross fear of his condition.  And we were left for a week or so to wrestle in prayer for this boy, and wrestle with the fact that we are a bit older than this couple.  During that week, God turned the world upside down on behalf of this boy.  People began offering this other couple serious money for adoption expenses, expenses on an adoption they weren’t even decided upon, an adoption they hadn’t even announced.  Someone offered to take their special needs kids while they went to back and forth to China – twice.  After this and prayer, it became abundantly clear where Jun Jun was supposed to be.  And after jumping a few more hurdles, last week Jun Jun was cleared by China to be adopted by this family.

And today I sat in church and listened to a man speak about God’s heart for the widow and the orphan and I was again reminded through another story that God truly moves mountains upon their behalf and again, I saw God weave deep redemption from suffering. Dark doesn’t win.  Light does, no morbid second act where all goes wrong.  Great joy! The end game is settled. 

Did you catch that??? There was SO MUCH in what Mimi wrote…let me lay it out so you can marvel over what our MIGHTY GOD has DONE!
* Gable, an orphan, has received TOP NOTCH cancer treatments in China. Amazing. What he has had done is considered experimental in the United States. (Incidentally, he's also had a successful liver resection meaning he will not need a transplant and run the risk of his body rejecting it or being on anti-rejection drugs for his life.)
* We live just 5 hours from one of the two BEST hospitals for treating hepatoblastoma. And we already take Esty there.
* Mimi is a parent of a son who is STILL going through treatment for his hepatoblastoma. After the icky cancer treatments failed him, he was given the kind of chemotherapy that Gable had as a last resort. It is working, but it is UNBELIEVABLY RARE that I would be connected with a parent in the States who has had experience with this type of treatment. (And she loves Jesus!) At one point along the way, she asked me if I had any clue how crazy it was that I was able to talk with her about all of this. I didn't…"was it rare?" I asked. She answered, "BEYOND RARE!!" Yep. That's God at work!
* Mimi was along for the ride while Brian and I wrestled in prayer about actually adopting again. (Oh we were SO DONE. We are so busy. So overwhelmed. So spent. BUT GOD.) She was able to cheer alongside, pray alongside and root for us as we sought to say YES to God. 
* We were promised finances to bring Gable home before we ever said yes to his adoption. That has NEVER happened before!
* We have precious people who are asking us if they can stay with our children when we travel to bring him home. (As a momma, this is one of the big concerns when adopting internationally…and God has taken care of this EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.)
I thought you might enjoy hearing a little bit of the back story to how we arrived at our decision to adopt Gable…from that unique perspective that Mimi has shared.
Following God continues to prove to be a wild adventure and it is SO MUCH FUN to see how His hand weaves all the millions of details together for our good.

A New Chapter--Serving in Adoptions

It is with GREAT JOY and EXCITEMENT that I have accepted the position as Adoption Coordinator for the non-profit, Children's Lantern in Defiance, Ohio. I am thrilled to be able to serve adoptive families in their adoption process, as well as once they come home.
I did a little trip down memory lane, just wondering HOW did I get here? I love when God does surprise turns in our lives. He had these things planned out long before we ever had an inkling!
I have been "doing" adoption things since the fall of 2010, when God put it on our hearts to expand our  little family of 6 by adding in another child.
We didn't know where to start. We had never had any interest in adoption. We were the blonde, all-American looking family. We had NO IDEA how God was about to rock our worlds!!

We began the process of adoption and were drawn to the masses of children orphaned by AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa. This led us to Uganda. Which eventually, after a lot of false starts, led us to Zeb.

So then we had five children. We adopted, independently, from Uganda. And it was a whirlwind. We were home with him in a flashing ten months after we decided yes, we felt God was calling us into adoption.
So shockingly fast. So bizarre. We know. 
Then, the ache began. You can read about it HERE. And then, I found him! I didn't know I was looking, but God did. And He directed my path straight to the blog where I laid eyes on my 6th child: Toby.

And honestly, it was only another 10 months until we had to take this picture:

This shot was by the Chinese government the day after "Gotcha" had happened. He still looked pretty scared. The smiles distinctly began the next morning. And he's never stopped smiling since!! :)

And it was BEFORE we traveled to adopt Toby that we knew knew knew that Esty was our daughter too.

But that's crazy, right?

Yes.

Ten months after we were home with Toby, we were back in China to bring Esty home.

And now our "all-American" family has been largely improved upon by the delightful presence of some of the world's neediest orphans. We are ALL better for their arrival and part in our family!

So this crazy path that has exploded into our lives only began not even 4 years ago. It's astounding to me HOW MUCH my life has changed.
Changed for the better. I am less selfish, less concerned about what other people think and my "serving" muscle is way more toned. My heart is broken for the remaining orphans around the world.
A friend of mine once prayed for me that I would find a way to help orphans find their families. I thought her prayer was mighty big, but I echoed it into my own heart. I've been so amazed to watch God use this blog to unite orphans with their families (stories that need to be shared!!) and now with an official capacity serving with Children's Lantern. I am honored to become part of such a phenomenal group of people with similar passions!

Toby's Journey - Southwest Airlines Medical Transportation Grant Program

We were so honored to be featured to represent the Southwest Airlines Medical Transportation Grant Program. I'm really not sure how they chose us, but after 4 days of filming, this is the end product. I love that Toby's joy is so beautifully displayed.



You can read my guest blog post on their blog here.

We've Got Esty!!!!

It's 4 am.

I'm in sweatpants with dark circles under my eyes, sitting in the hotel lobby so I can have access to the internet.

Workers are sculpting away at Chinese New Year decorations.

And my little one sleeps upstairs in our room.

How incredible.

Yesterday our day began early, at 6:30 am we met our guide down here to head over to her orphanage.

After a 30 min drive on easy roads, we arrived in the dark.

Our hearts were full of anticipation.

I could see a little ponytailed girl silhouetted in a 4th floor window looking down. What was she thinking? Did she know Lang Han Han was getting adopted today?

We were taken into a large conference room and the heat was turned up.

We spent a good hour signing paperwork and attempting to calm our nerves.

"They are going to bring her now," they said.

We waited for what felt like the entire 10 months of this adoption for her to come through those doors.

Oliver was ready with the video, Brian with the camera.

Then, the doors finally opened.

And in rolled our Esty.

She had a pink knit hat on and desperately reminded me of a little grandmother.

I went to her and said just what I did in a dream I'd had months before, "Ni hao, wo shi mama." ("Hello, I am your mother.")

She smiled.

I took her hands. They were soft and warm. We grinned at each other. I probably said more silly stuff to her in Chinese but I can't remember now.

She then looked for her Daddy. "This is your Daddy, Han Han," I said. 

And then Oliver came over.

They shook hands and a kind smile filled her face.

Immediately then the orphanage director who was so very kind and filled with smiles and kindness herself, began presenting Esty with gifts.

"She has taken the tea service class, and done well," she said. "We are giving her these gifts so she can go to America and open a tea house. Tea service is very lucrative for someone with her differences."

I didn't know how to break it to them that she's going to be a doctor. ;)

The gifts came. And came. And came. (We are going to need an extra suitcase for her tea business!!)

We asked our guide once we left if this is common for an orphanage to lay gifts before a child like this on Gotcha day. "Not too popular," she said. I can't imagine they could do this often!!

So, I surmised that our sweet Esty is WELL LOVED.

Multiple nannies described her as "a big girl" before we met, which confused me because her measurements were so small...but they clarified for me, "She has such a big heart."

Oh yes. My Esty.

After some pictures, we loaded into the van. I held Esty on my lap just in awe that we are together! 

She began calling out ot the orphange women, "Bye bye! Bye bye!" (in English!) and waving and grinning. She did not seem at all to be nervous about leaving with us.

{I just have to pause and say what you are probably thinking too---how is this een possible? How can a 10 year old orphan be so pleasant, kind and wave bye bye to her life and snuggle down into my lap? I  have no answer for you. Only that this is because of prayer.}

We began a long drive then through Beijing. Stop and go. Stop and go. Horns honking. Smog rising. 

We were began by looking through the photo album we'd sent and working on all her siblings' names. But then I began to feel car sick, so I stopped.

She went very quiet and I noticed sweat forming on the bridge of her nose. Then, she began looking more and more white.

"Wo yao tu!" (this is a sentence that caused much alarm as we all began dumping tea service items out of a bag so we didn't have vomit all over the van!)

Eventually, she did. Poor thing. But I held her close, rubbed her back, cleaned her up.

Oh how many times has she had to do that without a mother to care for her?

Eventually we made it to the photo studio. We took a picture of Brian, me and Han Han for the adoption registry.

Then onto the Civil Affairs office where we were quite late for our appointment.

This took another hour perhaps, all the while she was happy to just sit with us and wait. Oliver was a rock star during all of this too. I have even heard him begin to repeat Mandarin phrases and put things together and say, "Oh I know how to say __________!" It's so fun to see! Later in the day he spoke to a father and child, "Ni hao!" I was literally beaming.

We answered the woman's questions for the official paperwork. Why had we come to China  to adopt? Would we promise to never hurt or abandon her? Did we fully understand the things wrong with her physical condition?

We signed our names with black ink, sealing it all with a red fingerprint atop our signatures. (Americans should really start doing this. It's so cool.)

Then, it was Esty's turn. I didn't realize, but after age 10, the child being adopted needs to write a sentence in characters that says, "I want to be adopted." It took her about 3 full minutes to copy our guide's example sentence. (Esty has never been to school because China is not wheelchair accessible.)

Then came her name in characters and her own little red fingerprint.

She was sitting in her new daddy's lap and looked up at me with a smile that melted me. 

She wants this. How totally incredible.

Then it was time for some lunch. Our guide asks her what she would like to eat. She can have ANYTHING at all...and what does she ask for????

KFC. Seriously.

I was dumbfounded.

We wisely decided to return to the hotel and have it delivered to avoid more motion sickness. Brian and I had baozis off the street while Esty and Olly sat there dipping their nuggets into sauce. The irony was not lost on me.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know one another. We went for a long walk, bought her a pair of boots and eventually snuggled her and endured multiple episodes of Xiao Lan (a popular cartoon about a sheep.)

She and Oliver played iPad games together.

After noodles and a bath, we were snuggling down in the bed covers and I began to read to her from the Jesus Storybook Bible.

{Get this Bible for your kids. So amazing.}

I had an arm around her and read in English. I'd already asked her if she knew who Jesus was or God and she said "Wo bu zhi dao," (I don't know.)

{wow.}

I started at the beginning. Before the story of creation, the book gives an overview of what the Bible is about.

As I read the words to her about being loved by a God who rescues, I was in awe. Then I read the words aloud, "The Bible is most of all a Story. A story about a young Hero who leaves his far country to win back His lost treasure."

And I lost it.

What was I doing but just what Jesus has done for me? I left my own far away country and was now snuggled down with a former orphan who was so precious to Jesus that He sent me to be His hands and feet to her.

What a priviledge.

What an honor.

What pressure to get it right!! {But there is grace. Abundant grace. We who parent know we do NOT get it right, but forgiveness and love and new starts are the language we speak.}

We held her in our arms and prayed for her. We nestled her down in the white down comforter and made sure she had all she needed. 

She immediately slept.

And so, was day one with our Esty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special notes: 

She was at one point running a fever of 102. Please pray for her. I gave her Tylenol and checked on her during the night and it seems to be gone, but we want to obviously be careful.

Oliver was running and pushing her in the wheelchair/stroller and she was giggling for the first time. It was a glorious sound!!

Her physical condition is both encouraging and alarming to me at the same time. Her back is very contorted, which is not noticeable as long as she is seated. I had her up on her legs and I am guessing she has a very serious case of scoliosis. The good news is that she has a LOT of movement in her legs. She can cross and uncross them while seated! She has feeling down to both knees. Below her knees her legs are icy cold and like rubber. She has no strength in her ankles whatsoever and cannot stand on her feet in the usual way. I fully believe she will walk, but there will be AFO's, arm crutches and possible back surgery in her future. Please pray for all of this that is coming. By the way, I asked her if she'd like to walk and her face lit up and she nodded! 

Once again, I am saying THANK YOU to everyone who partnered with us to pay the crazy costs of adoption. We did not have $30,000 extra sitting around, (especially on the heels of Toby's adoption!) but through fundraising, love gifts and grants, we are here and she is ours. Her future is open wide before her. YOU did this. Please know that we are so deeply grateful for the chance to become her parents and love her to Jesus because YOU helped make this possible.

A Child's Concept of Adoption...a Video

This video makes my heart break into tiny pieces.
I can understand their Mandarin and the words of the children.
Imagine spending your life in orphanage walls thinking that if you are GOOD ENOUGH you'll get chosen for adoption.
I ache.
I long for Esty.
I wonder why I cannot be Momma to ALL OF THEM.
(okay, they won't all fit in our van.)
But I wonder, how long must some of these children wait? 
How long until they learn that they are loved?
How long until they see that they have value?
How long until they feel safe and have that deep need met to have a mother and father of their OWN?
Have YOU considered the waiting child?
Please, please do.

How God Broke Me for Special Needs Adoption

What does it take for God to take us from a place of selfishness comfort to move into a realm of discomfort and unknown where things are intimidating and downright scary?
Sometimes, it just takes a child.
Jovia Richards was that child for me.
Without her, we would not have Toby as our son. And Esty would not be on her way here.
Let me back up.
We had already brought Zeb home from Uganda, and we were attending a conference called More 4 Orphans at the Vineyard in Columbus, Ohio.
I was hoping to meet Wess Stafford of Compassion (I did!) as well as a few of my favorite online friends from Project Hopeful and also Salem Richards, who has adopted 3 special needs children from Uganda.
I also was looking forward to meeting Nicolle Bompart whose husband had just died a few months prior from a gunshot wound while serving orphans in Haiti. I just had to meet this amazing woman! I attended her breakout session for the purpose of meeting her. The subject of the breakout? Special needs adoption. She even said, "If you are here, it's because God is doing something in your heart to adopt a special needs child," and I thought, "well, not me, I'm just here to meet you..." 
Little did I realize that she was RIGHT!
After her session, I found my friend Salem and delighted in a hug. I quickly realized, she had come to the conference WITH her children. And here was her daughter Jovia...who was born without arms and without legs.
Smiling at me.
With dimples.

Before I could think, I heard myself ask if I could hold her.
"Of course!" was the reply.
My heart raced as I bent down to scoop her up. A million thoughts raced through my head. Emotions flooded my heart, emotions that are now untraceable.
But when I held her, felt her warmth and watched her take her teeth to play with my conference name tag, I felt something move.
It was as big as a planet moving off it's orbit. 
I came unglued.
All my previous thoughts of why I personally would never consider a special needs child simply crumbled. This warm, sweet, happy girl was changing me. On the spot.
All the "why nots" left.
I suddenly only saw her. Jovia. A priceless treasure. A person.
And really, that's what needs to happen. 
We need to see the PERSON,
not the CONDITION,
not the SPECIAL NEED,
not the DIFFERENCE. 
We come to realize these children are really like any other child.
Any other orphan.
Or maybe, just maybe, they are even more special...because they have been rejected time and time again...for reasons far beyond their control.
Jesus loves the unlovable. "The least of these," He calls them.
Precious children!!!
What I've come to find out is that they are only perceived as the "least of these." In actuality, they are TRUE TREASURES that bring deep joy to families who say YES to them.
And they change you too. In such good ways.
So often people say things to me like, "Oh I could never do that!" when they hear we are adopting yet another child and this one being in a wheelchair. 
I answer, "Oh I cannot either! But Jesus will use me to love and minister to this child in ways I cannot yet anticipate!"
This is what Jovia gave me.
A new willingness.
An interest in special kids.
A desire to parent those whom before I thought were for "other people."
I began looking for who it might be that God would have me love.
And then I "stumbled" onto the blog post where I read about "Bo" who became our Toby.
And the rest? Well, I'd like to say it's all history...
...but it's still in process!
But it IS history: His-story.
God's story of working in and through me to love and parent needy children.
What a wild adventure of walking with Him in places I never thought I wanted to go! But as I follow Him there, I find such great joy that I only want to press deeper in and find more of Jesus!
Want in?? I sure can understand why!!! 
Now sit here a little longer and delight in the awesome video The Archibald Project made on my friend Salem and her precious family! Who knows how Jovia might minister to your heart through this! 


The Richards Family Adoption Story from The Archibald Project on Vimeo.