Mothering 8: Learning as I Go

Well, I'm doing it. I'm being a mom to eight children.

And they've just come home for the summer.

I thought this image was perfect! (No, I don't really know why either.)

Via positivemotivation.tumblr.com

Perhaps this is how I see myself. Shiny, happy pink piggy. :)
I'm learning a lot these days...
I'm learning to not be as annoyed with the extra weight I'm carrying around from the stress of 4 rapid fire adoptions. I'm working on it, but I now know it has no impact on my value. I'm working on eating healthy and getting exercise in. The weight can take care of itself and I don't have to internally punish myself for it. (Yes, this is huge for me!)
I'm learning that not everyone has to be smiling in a picture. That's just too hard. Actually, they don't even have to be facing the camera. Just proof that they were there.

Yes, if you count, this is more than 8...these are our virtual cousins we hang with almost daily!

I'm learning that sit down meals are NOT over-rated and we will fight to keep a family dinner time. 

This is the extra large picnic table my AWESOME husband made in one Saturday. HE ROCKS!

I'm learning that I don't really need to worry about injuries. It used to be, "are you bleeding?" now it's "are you bleeding profusely?" ;) Haha, kidding...sort of!
I'm learning that I absolutely MUST continue to do art. It restores my sense of self and joy. Currently, all I'm getting in is watering my porch flowers. That's a crazy lame definition of art, I know. But it actually really helps.

Routine things that need done can meet this art need too...like cutting hair and decorating cakes.

I'm learning that my hardwiring of dealing with things EXTERNALLY is actually a blessing. I am not one of those people who you don't know what I'm thinking. I process aloud. I have to journal to even get to the bottom of what I'm feeling. Honestly, it's annoying. I wish I could sit inside my head and work through stuff, but for some reason I need to speak it out loud to have any clue what's going on. I've been bothered that I'm dependent upon others to help me through this...until recently I learned (as I listened to myself talk!) that it's TRULY A BLESSING the way God has wired me. For if I could mentally hold all in my state of awareness that's is weighing on my heart I would go belly up. The burdens I'm carrying during the month of June are so many and so heavy that I cried my eyes out silly when I realized it all. 
Wow, what a blessing I live in the moment and can't remember it all at once!!
I am learning that planning is the path to peace. With this many people home during the summer days, we cannot let things just go to chance. We had our first of many family team meetings this morning. (Today is day 1 of the summer!) We brainstormed a list of lunches and who will be responsible for making the meal, serving it and cleaning up. It helps with groceries and I actually got some of my volunteer work for Children's Lantern done while the whole lunch thing was going down!! WHAT!?!?!? Yes! How awesome is THAT? BooYah! (Tomorrow we will assign these chores. Today I said, "pick something and surprise me when I get home with what you did! Yes, it worked! And why am I gone you ask? We had therapy appointments, grocery and library run and baseball practice. Thank God for babysitting teenagers!)

Special Order Friday: because nobody wants to be a short order cook every day!

I am learning to relax. Not the kind of relax that you may think of...I don't mean sit on the couch and let the world go by...but more like the kind where I don't have to get all uptight that there are wet towels on the bathroom floor (well that's what washing machines are for) and toys are strewn everywhere (that's why we [will] have tidy hour each day). When I'm less tense as I'm going through the day, EVERYONE is more relaxed. Truly, my attitude spreads around like cold germs in November. No pressure, but really? Let's choose to be happy.
I'm KEENLY aware how fast childhood flies. My oldest is now a sophomore in high school. Fortunate for me, I also have a 2 year old. I am learning to just sit and snuggle more. What precious days these are.

And I celebrate his thumb sucking. 

I'm learning to laugh at what comes out of my mouth. Lately I've said things like, "take the bacon out of my neck!" (wearing Gable on my back while cooking and handing him samples) and "Don't poop in the living room" when he takes off his diaper and feels free to potty anywhere. My children love to savor the time I had to instruct them, "Don't throw cheese in the van!" because they were sharing a package of American cheese slices and were "delivering" them to everyone.

Now I have to straighten them to look sane.

I'm learning that sometimes my impromptu things may turn around to bite me. This is my face the day after I reached for the hair cutting scissors 10 seconds after I decided to cut my bangs. (We were going out the door...and I noticed they were long! Who needs more planning than that?!?!) I didn't factor in the fact that I had straightened my hair that morning. So when I took a shower the next day and they dried naturally...and shrunk half way up my forehead to Canada...I realized maybe I should at least take a breath's worth of time to ask myself: "Am I SURE I want to do this right now?"
And I'm also remembering that "Hair does grow!" (famous words after my BFF highlighted my hair for the first time back in 1997. She got it a bit light!) And really, who cares!
I think that if I can major in the things that matter: teaching my kids to love one another, be kind ("absorb the unkindness and be an example of love," is my current mantra with all of them) and to pray about their problems and love Jesus... then we can show up places without our hair combed and even missing shoes. 
'Cuz the OTHER thing I learned: those rules about "no shirt, no shoes, no service" only apply if you are alone. If you are in a big group, they don't even notice! Bahahahahaha! TRUE STORY!  

Cypress for Thorns

I don't know about your life, but mine can melt into an absolute wreck in approximately 30 seconds.
With 3 preschoolers, a teenager, a tweenager and a middler...many with very special needs...not to mention a daughter on the other side of the planet looking longingly at our pictures...
well, life can get a WEE TINY BIT demanding.
And well, I don't always handle the concurrent demands/meltdowns well.
{gasp}
Isaiah 55 calls it "thorny."
Folks, I'm a serial ME LOVER.
I'm all about my comfort, my happiness, my desires, my wants.
It's not pretty.
And astonishingly, it's not what I'm called to.
I have a HIGH CALLING and it's worth everything.
God is doing a work in me, so my faithful husband encourages me.
I'm pretty sure the curriculum for me to learn this requires people in my life who are BIGGER "Me Lovers" than I am. Or...really, just less refined at hiding their "me lovingness."
(Cuz I think I still win the award for biggest Me Lover at this address.)
The endless stream of needs, demands and disasters from aforementioned people is working out a beauty in my life that I could never achieve otherwise.
(And I never would, ya know? Me-lover here would choose the EASY route, the COMFORTABLE, the FUN way every time.)
But I'm coming to terms with the reality that: this is my life for the current time and future times as far as I can see.
And Jesus called me to die to ME. 
And oddly, I want to. 
I WANT TO.
Weird? Perhaps.
But I long to have Christ express Himself so beautifully in me...and it just can't happen until I "John 3:30" a whole lot more.
Wait, isn't "John 3:30" a recognized verb?
It should be.
"I must decrease, He must increase."
Yeah, that.
I need to move OUTTA THE WAY so Jesus can live His life through me.
Is this sounding a bit...odd?
Well, it's biblical people.
That familiar verse memorized decades ago comes back to life with NEW MEANING: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
So daily now I'm asking to "John 3:30" and anxiously awaiting Christ to take over and run this show.
I was parked in Isaiah 55 for the past several mornings and this morning I really was breathing in the hope that I can live with JOY and PEACE mentioned in verse 12.
¹² You will live in joy and peace.
    The mountains and hills will burst into song,
    and the trees of the field will clap their hands!
¹³ Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.
    Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.
These events will bring great honor to the Lord’s name;
    they will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”
And then I got to thinking how much I want cypress trees in place of thorns and myrtles instead of nettles in verse 13.
Nettles. 
What a nice descriptor of my attitude when three toddlers are screaming and pots of food are boiling over, the phone is ringing and I was trying to remember what I was saying to that dear woman I'm coaching in my Beachbody business.
Yeah, nettles. 
I am praying now that God will help me turn over my thorns and nettles to Him in the meltdown moments so He can grow cypress trees and myrtle in its place.
I decided to take a peek at some images of cypress trees this morning. 
Love what I found.

Source

The way it stands so beautifully against the sea. Against the sky.
The way it grows out of the rock. That's not an easy place to grow, I wouldn't think.

Source

And look at this cypress! That's a beautiful thing growing out of that odd place! (oh I'm getting excited now!)
I did some reading also about the symbolism of the cypress. Did you know the cypress tree was an often used symbol of Christianity? When it's cut down, it doesn't grow back from its roots. Because of that, it's often used as a symbol of resurrection. One source said it has the association of heaven's calling.
Oh baby, I need heaven to call. LOUDLY.
Back to Isaiah 55:13... I love the swap of myrtle in place of those nasty nettles! 
I can't say I'm familiar with the myrtle bush, and although my web search distracted me with a 4 legged woman named Myrtle from the 1800's, I did discover it is a beautiful and fragrant flowering bush that is actually the original name of Esther.
My Esty.
Hmmmm. I may have to plant a myrtle for her!
I will continue to forge my way through each day looking forward to cypress and myrtle to sprout up at any moment.
And for every time the thorns and nettles overpower, I'll ask for forgiveness and start again. 
Cuz that's what we can to do. Praise God!!

A Mothering Prayer

Long silences from me in cyber space...

Yet I write a thousand blog posts as I sit beside Toby's crib...waiting for elusive sleep to descend.

I have so much to say. Going way back to his orphanage visit back in China.

How can I ever get the time?

I only now sneak a few minutes as the littles are sharing a snack and painting with watercolors. An activity that will expire in approximately 10 minutes.

I am doing the things you might imagine: cooking, laundry, kissing boo boos, rocking, reading, making ponytails, helping with homework, cleaning up, and lots and lots of praying.

These children are my calling.

There are six of them now.

They are such a blessing. I know that full well.

I never lose sight of the fact that two of them are former orphans. Their needs differ from my biological children.

They need special understanding. They stretch me in new ways. Often requiring me to have long distance patience, something I never began motherhood with.

I love these verses from Hebrews 13: 20-21...it has been my constant prayer as God stretches me to become the mother they need:


"Now may the God of peace-- who brought of from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with His blood--

May He equip you with all you need for doing His will. 
      May He produce in you through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him.

All glory to Him forever and ever! Amen!"

...and I hear it..."Mommy!!" Time to get off the computer again. :)