Friday, February 28, 2014

A Sister's Letter to Oskar




There has been SO.MUCH.GOING.ON.

I cannot keep up.

I wish that I could be FOUR people to address the multitude of intense needs that pull me in every direction.

But I cannot.

I have wondered, "How in the world do I blog about all this stuff?" 

And I still do not have an answer.

But last night, my 13 year old shared her poem with me that brought me to my knees. And I knew…I wanted to share it with you. (she has agreed)

Sweet little Oskar, I cannot wait!
There are so many things to do
There are cookies to eat and things to create
And I will do so much with you!
I’ll feed you your breakfast and rock you to sleep
And then as you grow older
We’ll go to the pool and swim in the deep 
And make snowmen when it gets colder
Today I heard something Oskar, I don’t believe it’s true
No my brother don’t leave me behind
I never even got to meet you

What about all of those things I hoped for? 
The fun that we would have had?
Oh God please don’t shut Oskar’s door
Don’t you realize that this is bad?
Dear brother, you will never feel a summer breeze blow soft
Or make fun forts with our dad up in the hay loft
I want you to blow out your candles
I want to hear your voice
No stocking saying “Oskar” on the mantle
No Oskar sound or noise

Jesus please bring him back
The younger ones miss him so
He is a special boy our family lacks
He who we never got to know
None of us understand, dear Lord
We’ll never hear his cry
We’ll never hear his laugh oh Lord
Why did you let him die?
Please, Lord Almighty, we beg you
Jesus, give us peace
We know where he is off to
But we long to see his happy face


Dear Oskar, please don’t worry
We’re coming soon after you
We really want to hurry
Have you, dear, missed us too?
We can all peacefully rest now, boy
For we know where you are
In a place with love, purity, and joy
And Jesus to eternally rest on
I know that you aren’t here
But I’m sure you perfect and smart
Oskar, you may be in Heaven
But you will always be in our hearts


Who is/was Oskar? He was our 2nd son…born still at 39 weeks. You can read his story by clicking the tab at the top of the blog, "Our son Oskar." 7 years have passed, but we will always miss him.


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2 comments:

  1. Such a beautiful poem and so heartfelt and real. I love it and your sweet family!

    ReplyDelete
  2. God bless you and your sweet daughter, Amy. Her lovely poem has me in tears, but she is so right. You will see him and hold him again. Prayers for your family today. :)

    ReplyDelete

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