Desperate for God's power in my life

Today, as is fitting this time of year, we heard about Mary. Our pastor brought us to consider why God chose her, what attributes marked her character that she would be chosen for such a holy task. I marvel at the amazing woman she was already at age 12 or 14. She was indeed a courageous soul, willing to accept this never-before-been-done job of hosting the Son of God in her womb...and then ALL that would come after. I am marveling over how she didn't give voice to her fears. Now that's where she and I are unalike, I process aloud while Mary "ponders these things in her heart."

I wonder though, did she concern herself with all the "How will I...?" that fill my own heart? As I consider all that must take place to adopt two children into our family I cannot help wonder how it will work. I find myself falling short now and wonder how it is that God has called us to serve the needs of orphans in this all consuming, most permanent way. As is typical for me, I jubilantly jump at the Lord's command--so ready to obey and as I am obeying then I realize all the implications. It's not that I want a way out or to change anything He's asked me to do, but I find myself wondering, "How can I....?" and the blank gets filled in with my shortcomings.

I have always loved Mary's response to the angel after he announces the life altering news that she will become pregnant with God's Son. "I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever He wants. May everything you have said come true." (Luke 1:38, NLT) Wow. Who answers like that? Well, sometimes I do. And then as I'm in the process of that obedience I get overcome by all my insufficiencies.

Here's the thing: we love to hear about miracles. We may or may not think that it's possible to experience today the huge kind of miracles that we read about in Scripture. I think we can. But the kicker is, in order to experience an incredible miracle, we have to be in need of a miracle. And most of us are not willing to go there. Who wants to be in such a desperate situation? Today I find myself there.

I'm reading the book Radical, by David Platt. I highly recommend it to you. He says in it, "This is how God works. He puts His people in positions where they are desperate for His power, and then He shows His provision in ways that display His greatness." Am I feeling desperate for God? Yes. Then I am where I want to be (but it doesn't feel good). Now I just wait for Him to show up.

So l know He'll come through so I do my best in each situation and I wait. But the waiting is hard as the evil one prowls around reminding me of the shortcomings, the desperateness for which I NEED that miracle of God. "Those God calls He equips," one might comfort me. Sure, I know that. Indeed, one of my favorite Scriptures is I Thessalonians 5:24, "He who calls you is faithful and He will do it." We need to be careful though, what will He do? Usually it's not what I'm panicking over! Verse 23 says, "Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until that day when our Lord Jesus Christ comes again." He's going to make me holy in every way???!?! YES! If that weren't enough, He is going to keep my whole self (spirit, soul and body) blameless until the world ends. Wow. That's incredible. In fact, what He's going to do is MORE than what I was worrying over. And isn't that just like Him?

One final quote from Radical, "God delights in using ordinary Christians who come to the end of themselves and choose to trust in His extraordinary provision. He stands ready to allocate His power to all who are radically dependent on Him and radically devoted to making much of Him." So I sit here in my desperate assessment of myself and find myself lacking--and guess what? That's okay! I'm in a great position to host the power of God in my life! And that, my friends, is just what it's going to take!!