Ever Wonder What goes On...on the INSIDE??

Do you read blogs and wonder, "Really? Is it all really just like...THAT?"

Are you considering adoption of a child or children and wonder if it's really all sunshine and puppies?

Are you forever waiting on your referral and wish there was SOMETHING you could read that would help you? Something that would help prepare your heart for what is coming? Something to inspire a new list of heartfelt things to pray for in yourself and in your future family member(s)?

Have you already adopted and found your emotions are a bit different from everything you've ever read on blogs and people's Facebook?

Are you currently REALLY STRUGGLING and want to know if there are other people who might understand?

Are you just  GOING CRAZY and wonder if you are all alone?

Well if so, listen up!!

A few of my fellow adoptive friends have begun a new blog called Sharing Adoption Truth. The purpose is to give a window to the real-life inside for those who need to hear it. As it says on the site, we tend to hide the hard and broadcast the beautiful. But now, defying the fairy tale stories, real adoptive moms will share their stories on this collective blog so that YOU can hear it. I will make contributions as the Lord opens my time frame and gives me His words.

You can go there now and just link up so you are ready! There are two stories up already! :)

Adoption is such a phenomenal thing! We mimic our Lord Jesus who adopted us...ugly, sinful and crusty and made us HIS! Reading real adoption stories may not be easy, but you will see the hope of Christ and how He triumphs in each and every one of our stories.

Cheers to Christ-empowered truth sharing!!

Raw and Real

With a post title like that, you know it's gonna be ugly.

Dontcha?
I cannot bring myself to blog often. Let me be raw and real with you: parenting two toddlers who are stagger stepped in age by 7 months is nothing short of HARD, THANKLESS WORK.

We have come to realize that adoption is not all it's cracked up to be. Well, we have given a very needy child a home, more importantly a family...and we've given ourselves more and more WORK.

Better look at that with some "Christian-ese" right? We've given ourselves "more opportunity to trust God."

I think that is what most people would say. That sure sounds better than, "Man this is WAAAAY harder than I ever dreamed!!"

I have discovered that I truly love the IDEA of adoption but the actual work of adoption, not so much. I love the idea of rallying people to help, but the actual helping part, well...that's what I've rallied people together for, right?

Please do not misread me: I love adoption! And I adore Zareb!!! (The children waiting for families break my heart daily!)

But I am NOT liking the discomfort adoption causes in my life. It's clipped my wings in every sense of the word. 

One of the most challenging seasons I have faced, this first 5 months home has been full of so much. And the bulk of it I cannot share. Just know that if you've felt a burden to pray for our family, we have and still do indeed need it.

Something I have come face to face with about myself is that I am a visionary. That's great and awesome when a group needs a leader. When people need motivated. It's great when direction needs to be found. But it's not so great when life is so repetitive, exhausting and well, daily. (You've heard this before from me lately haven't you?)

I have been given hope by those who listen as I bare my soul that God is working on me. At first this thought shocked me. I truly thought NOTHING GOOD was happening. We are not progressing in potty training, I am not progressing in my patience level, I am not doing anything different than I did 4 weeks ago. (I really need to see PROGRESS in order to keep going!) But here it was from two different sources:

"God is working in you. Doing a great thing. He's getting you READY."

Really???

My soul perks up at this. Hope. I feel the lightness of the wind of hope blowing gently into my sails.

God might truly be changing me through...this???

I have now observed myself able to clean up giardia-filled diarrhea that spills out of diapers without losing my head. I stayed up till 2 am last night rocking a feverish Zebby filled with nothing but love and adoration for him. (Previously, I am QUITE SURE I would have been far more worried about how I'd survive the next day because of my "sacrifice!" Blech!) I've knelt down and tried to patiently decipher his stammering sentences. And we've made it out the door for the bus this week with everyone in happy moods and we haven't even missed the bus once this week.

Could it be true?

God is working on me in this...daily nothingness?

YES. It comes to me resoundingly.

Also that I am not surrounded by mundane. This is not "nothingness." I am given a front row seat to the metamorphic changes in a former orphan and a selfish woman. These are the building block moments for his life. These are the slow one-step-forward-two-steps-back days of healing. And for our little Darrah Kate as well. These are the moments that provide them a good strong, solid start in life that they need. The solid base of love they need to know is always here. Their God-infused years of toddlerhood that launch them into life.

This gives me the hope and encouragement to carry on. To see this thing through. To love without measure. To trust my exhaustion and personal needs into the hands of my Savior. He's promised to not only never leave me, but meet all my needs according to His riches (not in accordance to my lack!).

And there I rest.

Time to dole out a snack and change the laundry over. And stop these two from fighting over the Barbie laptop.

The Chisel He Chooses

Oh friends. It has been awhile.

I have wanted to write...but then I realize there is no time yet again. And then I wonder, "about what would I even write?" Certainly you don't have any more time than I. I surely don't want to waste your time on empty words.

Ever have seasons of your life that you just wonder if anything is really HAPPENING?

It's awfully fun to start a new job, have a new baby, get engaged, be called to a new place of ministry and watch God open doors left and right. The high is truly unlike anything else!

And then...you get there. You assimilate as best you can. Your learning is on a high curve and you begin to "feel it." You are doing it! Your new thing He's given is yours and it feels amazing!

And then, things just sort of settle. You adjust. You forge out a new normal.

Normal.

Can't say I like the word, really.

Life is really quite daily. Not many biographies say this. And why would they? Biographies are written about the INCREDIBLE things that have taken place in a person's life. Things worth remembering.

The daily stuff, well, it isn't book worthy. But it is what life is really full of.

The missionary that goes off to his most heart's desired land...

The aching infertile woman delivers her most treasured baby...

The advocate sees her bill pass into law...

The student crosses the stage and is now called graduate...

THEN WHAT?

Life. The daily stuff.

So, I think you get me. That's where I sit. My life consists of parenting a most incredible set of Shaw children. Five of them. (One of me. One of my husband. Oh my yes, we are very outnumbered!) Our lives are drained completely by the end of each day.

I have so many, many moments when I wonder why such things are happening. How did I get here? Is this really what I wanted? Why are things so difficult? Is there anyone in this house looking out for ME...or is it only the other way around?

Self. It's always there. Pushing to get more "air time."

I almost think with so many toddlers in the house (there are at least seven I am convinced!) that the selfish part of me rises up STRONGER. They think so little of my needs that I think of them MORE intensely than normally.

I don't like this. I pray each morning for God to fill me. For there to be less of ME and more of Him. Not even a "less and more" equation, but a total replacement of me with Him.

Oh yes, this is what I crave.

Yet, the puzzles are poured out all over the floor (again), the drink got spilled all over the homework (again), the potty mistake causes more clean up involving more time than we have causing us to be late (again), the plant is torn apart by little hands (again), the book pages ripped out (again), the game pieces are now lost in a moment of sheer toddler delight as they threw them around while I was upstairs folding laundry (again).

This is my new normal. This is where I have settled.

I find myself not wanting this normal. I want to reject it. I want them to hurry up through toddlerhood. Start being responsible. Start contributing to the family rather than causing diasters in their wake.

But this is not my choice. This is what He is using in my life to bring about what He has for me to learn. Not to mention the purpose of directing their little lives toward the God of Creation.

These disasters, these fits they throw...I am not proud to say that I do not respond as I want to. I am with Paul the writer of this passage from Romans 7: 19:
"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing."

I realized yesterday that God will not come busting in and deliver His Spirit of gentleness to me as I blaze in anger at the situation. No. He is not a God who forces Himself on His people. He waits for us to turn to Him.

In those very overwhelming moments I must stop and ask Him for His presence to overtake me. He is more than able to handle my trying situations, why then do I carry on as if I have no help from on high?

I was delighting in the presence of my fellow sisters in Christ today. As we considered the Word and God's ways, a friend said something about "pondering the work He is doing in us as He uses the chisel He has chosen."

The chisel He has chosen.

Source

I love that.

Who of us comes to our Lord and asks for pain and suffering? Who of us chooses our chisel?

Do we approach God in prayer and request that He grant us a child with a life threatening disease so we could learn what lessons He might have for us?

Do we ask for people to lie about us and falsely accuse us so we can better understand the suffering of our Savior?

Might we pray for God to allow us to be fired from our job so we can know that we depend upon Him alone to provide?

Would we ask for a fire to come and blaze through all our possessions so we could learn the lesson of dependence upon Him?

No, no, no and no. We do not choose our chisels. Thank God!!

I have long ago given my life to Jesus. I have written out on a sticky note in the front of my Bible, "God has the freedom to do in my life as He chooses." And then over the years I have added the things that He's brought into my life that I never saw coming. So many good things. Many that have been hard. But none have I chosen.

And so I come back to my little house full of children and their squabbles, messes and whiny attitudes. I turn my eyes back to the mound of unfolded laundry that waits for my attention. I smell that rancid smell of yet another diarrhea filled diaper. I catch the child's eyes that toy with me to see if I'll be a faithful mother to him, unlike the one who left before. I see that the dog hair has once again collected along the baseboards, waiting for my broom. The homework left on the table that didn't make it into the school bag. The bag of groceries waiting for me to turn it into dinner.

This is my current chisel.

And really, it's not bad. Not bad at all!
(Are we not so very well aware of the billions of chisels that we do not want?) 

God is carefully teaching us through the circumstances He permits in our lives. He has lovingly crafted a curriculum for each one of us. No one has the same schedule, classes or lessons. It is tailored exactly for us. What a beautiful thing!

And I pray in this moment for me to learn what He has for me through this chisel He has chosen.


"Teach me, Lord. Help me to not waste these moments on my selfish thoughts. Carve me into the shape you desire using this present chisel."

Run YOUR race.

There is something that I think many of us suffer from...
                                                            the "disease" of comparing ourselves to others.

This can happen in ANY arena...

Your body.

Your intelligence.

Your beauty.

Your income.

Your reading list.

Your Facebook account.

Your vehicle.

Your education.

Your clothing.

Your speech.

Your children.

Your spouse.

Your checkbook.

Your parenting.

Your ability to hold it together.

Your decorating.

Your sewing.

Your cooking.

...and many more. (the list is endless, isn't it?)

Satan absolutely loves to get us going about, well, really anything! He cares not how he misguides our hearts, just THAT he gets our hearts off track.

Remember what Scripture says about him? "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy..." John 10:10         He's out for blood, baby. Not just to irritate you.

(I learned this when he kicked me when I was down in the depths of grieving over another baby in the grave. He did not "give her a break, she's hurting," but rather came after me with a vehemence meant to destroy me once and for all.) I cannot help inserting a PRAISE GOD here for His faithfulness and the gift of Jesus who comes to give us ABUNDANCE in life (the rest of John 10:10!!)

I digress.

I used to struggle greatly with how my body compared to others. Now? It's all about how good of a mother I am. ...Or, actually APPEAR to be.

Since coming home from Africa with a former-orphan, I have been literally SWAMPED by my youngest three children's needs.

And honestly, there ain't a lot of hope that they are going to suddenly care about MY state of mind anytime soon. Toddlers, well, they are pretty much selfishness defined.

So the new area that Satan has tempted me with is watching other families via blogs and how they are "doing." I've listened to the lie that they are all doing better than I am.

I would be a fool to assume that anyone missed me blogging, so I'll just say it. I've written very few entries lately. I've had no ability to blog about my holiday decorations, cute ideas I had or new family traditions we installed this year. In fact, we didn't travel for the first time EVER over the holidays because the needs of our newest family member dictated such.

Not a single article of new clothing. Nobody matched in church on Christmas. In fact, we didn't even all go to church together over Christmas thanks to the family flu.

I thought about how this was his first Christmas and I should blog about it...but when the time came he was running a fever of over 102 and cried his way through Christmas morning. Blogworthy? Oh I don't think so.

My reality is: our house is messy and laundry is a continuous and never-done chore. I can't talk on the phone because I get mobbed by loud children who much of the time are fussing at each other. I tidy a room and the Littles untidy it again. Didn't I just vacuum that? Yes, yes I did, but someone has spilled the pretzel crumbs all over it. Someone comes to me crying. Someone else needs help with homework. Another child comes to me asking for love. (And yes, this is literally the verbiage used this morning by Darrah Kate, "Mommy, I t'ink I need sum wuv.") So I stop, kiss, solve problems, advise, listen and love. All the while the messes continue to whirl at breakneck speed. Not many craft projects are taking place.

I've had to stop following particular blogs that paint life with a well-groomed brush. I find myself looking at them and scouring them for faults. "Is their house REALLY that clutter free?!" "How does she think of all these ideas?" "How have they gotten their newly adopted children to attach so quickly?" "How can they afford that?" "They went where to serve whom?" "Matching outfits? Really?!" And I come back to my own life feeling like I don't measure up.

I've come to the realization that my dear Savior was pierced for this transgression. He was killed because of this sin of comparison. This is NOT how He wants me to live! I am not to live under a cloud of heaviness because I simply cannot keep up with [insert name of bloggy super mom here]! No! He wants my eyes where? Where again?

On Him.

Check it out. I think He's talking to ME!

source

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

Two things: "And let us run with endurance the race God has set before US." I don't have to run your race. Or her race. I need only to run mine.

Ah. That's nice. And quite freeing too.

The second thing comes in verse 4. Get a load of this:
"After all, you have not yet given your lives in yours struggle against sin."

Gulp. Did you read that just now???

I haven't YET given my life in the struggle against sin. Wow. I'm not fully sure of what that verse means, but I can be sure that it means that I'm not done battling against the powerful force of sin. And that I haven't yet gone the distance in my effort to be free from it.

I have noticed that I can carry my carefully balanced load in an acceptable manner...until the unexpected comes along and demands my attention elsewhere. Like a house of cards it all crumbles and I am filled with intensity, stress and [gulp] yell at my children because of the stress I am under. I have learned that no matter what other people may be able to add to their plates, I cannot compare and must simply say no. I need to take on less so I am available for my children more. This is my race.

The process of saying no has been good for me. (You might try it!) I am forced to examine my worth in the eyes of Jesus again. It's not how MUCH I do, for how many people or how much money I raise for worthy causes. It's about doing what He asks me to do.

For now, that's simply to focus on the adjustment and attachment of our dear child from Uganda. Helping my other young children adjust to our new family and address the needs of each person with great care. It doesn't matter if other people agree or even understand. I just need to obey.

Sew matching outfits? Bake cutesy treats for the class at school? Volunteer at the nearby nursing home? Lead a Bible study? Assist with my child's team? Great ideas. But right now, I've just gotta run MY race.

And for now, those just aren't in my path.

Dichotomy of Sons

I snuggle down a bit deeper into the old rocker and breathe deeply. I smell the freshly washed tight curls that cover his head. Strawberry and coconut. Mmmmm. What a blessing this moment is.

Five years.

I hear the words echo in my head as I rock this snuggled in, jammied one who clings to me with his warm, dark fingers.

It's been five years.

I am aware on so many levels the way time passes and yet does not impact the deeper pockets of pain that I carry. I am indented with the wounds that death has inflicted, yet I daily live full of love.

Dichotomy.

I rock this child and hold him tighter, if it's even possible. He says nothing, just cuddles his face into my neck. We love one another. We are together.

It is December 29th. A night of deepest searing pain for me 5 years ago. A day when the sun went black. A third pregnancy ending in horror. And this time, we'd made it to 39 weeks.

But now...we've rolled ahead five years. Now I sit holding a child from Africa in my lap. Freshly bathed and read to, he clings to me as if he knows I need it.

"Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart." Luke 2:19

One son is gone from me, another is snuggled in.

One is from my own body, the other from someone else's...whom I will never know.

One son lives with Jesus, another is here waiting to learn about Him from me.

One son taught me so much by his leaving, another here has taught me much by his arrival.

Believe it or not, I am comforted by the fact that I do not understand the ways of God. Scripture says His ways are higher than ours, His thoughts, higher than our thoughts. I take comfort in this. I do not want to know why.

I simultaneously ache from the pain in my heart from Oskar who left me too quickly and delight in the armful of love I have on my lap who looks at me with deep dark eyes and stutters out, "M-m-m-mommy, I l-l-l-l-ove you."


Thank you, Lord. For all of it.

Move over agenda, I'm making room for Jesus

I have resorted to blogging stuff I get forwarded on email.


Sheesh.

But seriously, when something touches you, it matters not where it comes from. Maybe this devotional by Micca Campbell will inspire you too.

Joe and Jesus have their eyes wide open, but I'm praying to be more contemplative like this 1" high Mary.

*****

"And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7 (NASB)

One of the first words that comes to mind when most think about the holiday season is "busy." 

Sad, but true.

I know it's true in my life. I can get so busy decorating the house, baking goodies, shopping for presents, going to parties and sending Christmas cards. Then, just when I think I've got a handle on it, I receive an unexpected card in the mail or a plate of cookies from a neighbor. 

What do I do?

I find time to return the gesture.

It's usually a challenge, but somehow we find time and make room to do all sorts of things during the holidays.

We make room for company to come. We make room for a Christmas tree in front of the picture window. We make room in our crowded schedule for activities we don't have time for.

Let's take time to consider: Have I made room for Jesus in my busy life this month?

In the familiar story of Christ's birth, I've always been bothered that there was no room in the inn for Jesus. I can't help but think didn't they know who He was? What could have been so important that they couldn't stop to make room for Jesus? My best guess is they were thinking only about themselves and their own busy agenda.

Likewise, we can become so busy with our Christmas plans that we run out of room for Jesus, too.

One of my mother's Christmas traditions is to withhold baby Jesus from her nativity set until Christmas morning. One year, when her first grandson was three years old, he asked, "Grandmamma, where is baby Jesus?"

"He's not been born yet," she explained to Patrick. "Jesus comes on Christmas Day. Then, you'll find Him right here," she added while pointing to the manger.

Like years past, Mom and Dad's house was full of excitement as family members arrived with arms full of presents. We expected to exchange gifts and enjoy a time for food, fun and celebration. But Patrick expected something different. He ran into the house shouting, "Is He here, yet? Is He here? Has Jesus come?"

Mom took Patrick over to the nativity and there, cradled in the manger, was baby Jesus. He had come just like He'd promised.

Over 2,000 years ago, God promised us a Savior. In a little town called Bethlehem, God kept His promise and Christ our Lord was born. While most missed what was happening that holy night, Christ's birth didn't escape the attention of heaven, a few shepherds, three wise men and some cattle. They pushed aside their duties and agendas to make room for Jesus. In fact, like Patrick, some of them anticipated His arrival. In doing so, their lives were forever changed.

Every year Jesus still searches for hearts to fill. But He can only fill space where we have left room for Him.

Christ's presence may go unnoticed by the world, but you and I, along with others who have made room in their hearts, can experience all the glorious wonder He brings. Let's cast aside the busyness of our lives this month to make room for Christ as we anticipate His arrival!

Dear Lord, the best I know how, I lay down my busy agenda to make room for You. Jesus, I don't want to miss a thing. Give me fresh eyes to see You this holiday season. I want to experience Your birth like never before so that I never close You out again. Welcome home, Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

*****

What does making room for Jesus during the busy month of December look like for you?

Busy...but taking time to be still.

There is chatter and laughter and little feet pitter pattering. There is also yelling, "Mom! She's being mean to me," and water overflowing in the bathroom sink.

Life.

It's busy, it's full
                           ...and this is my season.

It is my treasure.

I've not blogged much, but I am still indeed living life and treasuring moments. I am grateful for each one, even the ones that challenge me...I am emptied out and in need of filling. And I know WHO fills me up.

And I run to Him.

I just read a blog post and was deeply moved.

This is not the season of my life (at least today) for me to write much, but let me at least point you toward something that will take your breath away. It did mine.

Go here and be amazed.

You'll be glad you did and will be all the more excited to celebrate the birth of our precious Savior.

Merry Christmas. 

Christmas cards...simplified.

Simplify.

It's what I keep on thinking. We simply must cut back. Do you feel this crazy sauce feeling too? Christmas has gotten crazy. Life is abundantly full.

Almost over full.

Brian and I have had more than one conversation about how to simplify. How to focus on simply giving the needed attention to the Littles and just STOP doing extra stuff. This year in particular is critical in helping Zeb adjust to our family.

There is no maybe, this year I absolutely cannot be running crazy.

So instead of the hours upon hours preparing and sending our typical Christmas card, we offer you this:

We truly wish you a wonderful Christmas, celebrating Jesus. 

That your New Year would truly be filled with the joy of a fresh slate and that you would delight in goal setting and the glory of fulfilling them.

Please understand that no one is receiving a printed card this year (sorry grandmas!) We love you all and hope to return to "normal" next year!

Blessings!!

Your Christmas can benefit Imprisoned Children!!!

I have been chomping at the bit to be able to finally blog about these ideas...it's finally come together and I get to put it out there!

Remember this post? I ended up being a tad bit early with it...but maybe now it will whet your appetite! :)

I am so so so excited to share in the project Sixty Feet has underway!! If you are new reader, Sixty Feet is a group of Jesus-loving, Scripture-doing people who learned about imprisoned children in Uganda and are working alongside the government to encourage, love and bless the inmates.

The exciting matching program was announced on their blog site a few weeks back. I learned about this and wondered "what can we offer in a tangible way so that people would want to give to Sixty Feet for Christmas?" 

That lead me here.

But before I get to the "goods" I want to just remind you of the sweet children we are talking about here. There are 6 remand homes in Uganda. They vary in location, resources, staff, age of children and level of incarceration. Many of the children are refugees from neighboring nations, are orphans, are street kids sent to beg and are picked up by the police or were sent there by their own parents because they simply didn't know what else to do.

Putting a face to the children:

He was the sweetest thing! I got a smile after I showed him his picture on the back of my camera!

These children live in a place that looks like this:

The big announcement that Sixty Feet made can be read here. In a nutshell, they have been given permission to remove some of the youngest, most vulnerable children from M. They have identified some land (right on the shores of Lake Victoria!) and have been saving $30,000 for the purchase. Someone recently offered them a gift of $60,000 if they can have other donors match that amount! Altogether, if the other $60,000 is raised Sixty Feet will have $150,000 to use to buy the land, build a home where these children can receive love, nourishment, counseling and be free. WOW!

Isn't that a noble cause?

I sure think so!

The matching offer is good through December 31, 2011. 

So here is how this is going to work. Christmas is coming. You buy gifts. But you know now about these most precious souls on the continent of Africa who are in desperate need. How can you possibly combine both?

I've got three ideas for you.

1) Give toward the $60,000 in the name of the person you are giving to. Present them with a paper that explains where their gift went and how it will positively impact the children of Uganda. This gift educates too! You can get awesome information from the Sixty Feet website.

2) Donate at least $30 toward the $60,000 and receive a free Sixty Feet t shirt! They are made by the Wild Olive Tees company and are absolutely awesome! Soft and comfy. Another great way to show your support and get into conversations about the children and this project! P.S. Women's shirts are fitted, order UP one size! ;) Click here to get your awesome T shirt for those you love!

3) Order a DIY Christmas gift for $15. 100% of this donation will go toward the land purchase! In return, you will receive a digital file for an 11x14 size print of the "Family Rules" that were blogged on Sixty Feet's director's blog. You can read the original post here. Click here to see the different styles and colors to choose from. After you select your style and color, you will have full printing rights. You can put this on mugs, plates, puzzles, canvas (that's what we did!), t shirts, or just as a photo and frame it. Let your creative juices flow! You can have whatever name you choose for the Rules, so it would make a lovely gift! Click HERE to order yours! :)

Here is how cool it can look in your house! :) (Note: this is in our newly redone mudroom--yay!!)

Once you've read this, please please share this with all your friends!
You can:
*Post a link to this blog post on your Facebook page
*Tweet about it
*Pin the above picture of the family rules on your Pinterest board!
*If you have a website, will you consider adding this box to your site for November and December?

<a href="http://www.housefamilyrules.org/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i44.tinypic.com/dpwjv7.jpg" border="0" alt="House Family Rules"></a>

We've got $60,000 to raise!!!!

My Children...on Thrones??

I have finished another read through of the Bible. When I got to Revelation 20, something NEW stood out to me. (I love that about Scripture--always having God show me new things!)

"Then I saw thrones, and the people sitting on them had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their testimony about Jesus, for proclaiming the Word of God. And I saw the souls of those who had not worshiped the beast or his statue, nor accepted his mark on their forehead or their hands. They came to life again and reigned with Christ for a thousand years..." Revelation 20:4

Perhaps it was in combination with something I heard that this verse made it's impact. In a podcast sermon by Tommy Nelson this has been stuck in my head, "This [young] generation will have to know the Word of God like they did in the first century to live a righteous life in today's culture."

Source: worthpoint.com

I suddenly realized that the people sitting on the thrones were there because they had stood up to all the evil in the final days. They were strong. They were in fact beheaded for their testimony about Jesus and their incredible commitment to preach the Truth of God's Word.

Then it hit me:

Those people on those thrones COULD be my very own children.

I don't know the timing of Revelation. Neither do you.

How are those people who end up in the final days learn that passionate, stand-by-my-Jesus faith? For certain they do not just half heartedly choose to be beheaded!! And the second group of souls that John saw...they were ones who had not worshiped the beast or his statue and refused the mark of the beast. That means they too stood up to culture, pressure and the call to survive and counted their faith in Christ as more valuable than life.

Then I wondered, would my very own Jensi, Anneli, Oliver, Zareb and Darrah Kate be ready to stand up to that kind of pressure?   Would they stay faithful in the final days??

I was suddenly feeling very nervous. Very fidgety. A flutter in my heart.

This. is. on. me. ON ME!

I am the one who is with them, raising them, hoping to cultivate hearts that love the Lord and care about others. I am the one who seeks to teach them how to respond to people who attack, curse, challenge and lie about you. I am the one who demonstrates mercy, grace and compassion to the underdog. I am the one who must help them navigate through this culture, loving the people in the world but not being of it. I am the one showing them how to live a life of faith.

Gulp.

I am the one who must answer their questions lovingly and direct them towards God's Word. I am the one who must sort out their troubles and show them to learn from them and how they can handle them better next time.

Suddenly the responsibility of raising godly children in a depraved generation never seemed more challenging. And the call to do so for such a future as we (or our descendants) will have seems all the more weighty.

This morning, I began reading in Isaiah. The first verse inspired me to do a bit of a research: "These visions concerning Judah and Jerusalem came to Isaiah son of Amoz during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah--all kings of Judah." Isaiah 1:1

"Who were these kings?" I wondered. I dug back into 2 Kings and found out. I began to make some notes about each king. Turns out, these are 4 generations written out in a row.  Uzziah (I think of him as famous from the Isaiah 6 verses about "send me!") is Great-granddaddy, Jotham is Granddaddy, Ahaz is Bad Daddy and Hezekiah is the son.

Turns out that 3 out of 4 of these kings were called "good." But something interesting emerged: each had NOT torn down the pagan shrines. Hmmm. I decided to go backward in time and see if THEIR fathers had a similar pattern.

O. my. word.

Here's what I found:

Joash began this whole "incomplete obedience" thing. He got the throne at age 7. (Yikes!) He was trained by a priest. Apparently the priest didn't mention that "other" thing about the shrines, or he just didn't press little Joash to boldly pull them down. (There are to be no other gods before the True God and those pagan shrines were a tad bit of a problem.)

Amaziah is Joash's son. He takes the throne at age 25. He has a father to train him how to be a king. Here's what the Scripture says about him, "Amaziah did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight, but not like his ancestor David. Instead he followed the example of his father, Joash. Amaziah did NOT destroy the pagan shrines, where the people offered sacrifices and burnt incense." (2 Kings 14:3-4) Hmmm.

Well, along comes Uzziah. He's Amaziah's son. He gets the throne at age 16 and guess what? He was good, but didn't destroy those pagan shrines. By now, they were part of the landscape. He probably didn't even notice them as standing out. And this is our "great grand daddy" that I mentioned. Is it any wonder how the rest of this plays out?

Jotham gets the throne at 25 and yep, you guessed it, he is good like his father BUT he doesn't take down those treacherous pagan shrines either.

Does anyone? Look around...guess not. It must just be cultural. It's okay, everybody's doing it. Sound familiar?

Well, guess what? Jotham's son is a man named Ahaz. He is wearing the crown at age 20. And all those years of incomplete obedience apparently have come to a head. This king goes whole hog in the OTHER direction. He not only doesn't destroy those pagan shrines, he sacrifices one of his own children. (In addition to a whole list of other evil things!)

Alarming??? Yes? Scares me too!

Now delightfully, after the rotten king that Ahaz was to Judah, his own son Hezekiah turned completely to the Lord. Was it the total disgust of having a brother burned at the stake to a false god that woke him up? Hezekiah's life was one that pleased the Lord and Scripture says that "there was never another king like him in land of Judah, either before or after his time." Oh the things to study on this king's life!!!

So back to the thrones and thinking about my children. If the legacy of incomplete obedience (which we could go out on a limb here and call DISobedience) began long ago in the lineage of these kings...and the subsequent generations never once looked to see if MAYBE they should destroy those shrines...I just wonder...

What are the pagan shrines today? What are we as parents who desire to raise up a godly generation tolerating as part of the "landscape" that might end up hurting our children, grandchildren or great grandchildren? Or beyond?

Will YOUR children be sitting on those thrones? I surely want to be parenting in such a way that they are READY to be sitting on them.

And *GULP* that means I have a lot of personal examination to do along the way!!!

Oh God, help me raise them righteously!!!

Creative Love for Orphans

Tomorrow is Orphan Sunday.

What a great idea! Focus the people in the church to care for the millions of children around the world who would desperately love to join a family.

Oh Lord, please answer these sweet children's heartfelt prayers!

What can you do for orphans?

Become their forever family!

You are not ready to foster or adopt, you say.

That's okay.

Start where you are. You'll be surprised there are MANY ways to care for orphans that you never thought about!

You already know you can pray and give to organizations who are working with God's most precious children. And you can always donate directly to families who are adopting. That was a huge blessing in our own story.

But did you know you can do other things too?

Like what?

My dear friend is a foster mom with a heart of gold. She brainstormed this awesome and practical list of how to help a foster child and their family:

Pray: Choosing to foster is a decision that affects every member of the family. There are adjustments fro everyone. Additionally, the children in care have often only known abuse. But Jesus is bigger than any challenges that arise! Pray for healing for the children, for their biological parents to rehabilitate, the Holy Spirit's discernment for foster parents and God's covering over foster families.

Drive: Foster parents do a lot of driving to and from appointments: doctor, dental, and visits with the birth family, etc. Helping with transportation would really be a blessing!

Encourage: Gracious or encouraging words can be LIFE-giving! (Many foster moms are met with admonishing words to "be careful" rather than being lifted up and encouraged!)

Mentor: Take interest in a foster child. People of all ages can teach them a hobby, babysit, bake cookies together, offer to help with homework or teach life skills such as balancing a checkbook.

Serve: Many times accepting a new foster care placement is an emergency situation and families are harried. Offering to help with small tasks such as organizing a pantry, cooking, or laundry can really lighten the load and help the foster family and new child adjust.

Donate: Did you know that many children arrive at a foster home with their belongings thrown into trash bags? You can donate items such as suitcases, school supplies, clothes, shoes or even toys. Be sure that you are donating items in good repair. (If you wouldn't want your own children to wear it, don't send it to foster care agencies or foster families.)

Great ideas, friend!!

Did you know that you can do many of these for adoptive families as well? We were blessed so greatly by the people that brought us meals when we first came home. Coming over and handling laundry or grocery shopping for a family in their adjustment period is a BIG blessing!

Another "classic" way to help orphans is to find a trustworthy organization and sponsor a child. I am thrilled to begin my sponsorship of a 14 year old girl I met and fell in love with while in Uganda! She and I met while I visited one of the prisons that Sixty Feet works with...and she shared her story and I was broken for her. (If only I could have adopted her too!) Please consider SPONSORING A CHILD from the Sixty Feet site or Compassion or World Vision. Make an ongoing difference in the life of a child without leaving your living room!

Did you know you can also SHOP to benefit orphans?! I created a list of people selling online things that will have the proceeds benefit orphans. 

Shopping List to Help Orphans!

Handcrafted, personalized jewelry with all proceeds benefitting Joel and Lisa Bailey’s Ethiopian adoption!

www.munchkinmama.com Now through November 25, 2011.

Glass Christmas ornaments. Benefit a family adopting 2 children who have been stuck in Uganda for 7 months without income.

www.makingroomformoore.blogspot.com

Tee shirts of many varieties are sold and benefit individual adopting families. Here is a browsing list:

http://gracekeepsme.blogspot.com/p/t-shirts_25.html

http://www.thebrownbrigade.com/p/adoption-store.html

http://hopeshirts.blogspot.com/

http://www.projecthopeful.org/shop/

More jewelry! All benefiting the world’s orphans.

http://www.funkyfishdesigns.com/

Ugandan made paper bead necklaces. Made by children in the prisons Sixty Feet works with...proceeds benefitting a family’s Ugandan adoption.

http://lovewithrecklessabandonment.blogspot.com

Bible study bags, adorable coffee sleeves that benefit a family adopting one of Zareb's friends from his orphanage!

 http://www.etsy.com/shop/Nebraskaree 

Hats, gloves, scarves--FASHION that benefits the world’s orphans along with home items and jewelry!

http://www.sarabrinton.noondaycollection.com/ambassador-sarabrinton.html

Tee shirts, jackets, dolls, totes, bracelets that help bring home orphans from China! This is Stephen Curtis Chapman’s organization.

http://store.showhope.org

Buy the amazing book Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis and 50% of the proceeds benefit her incredible work with orphans in Uganda. This and so much more at 

http://www.147millionorphans.com (Book sales only during the month of November!)

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”                              James 1:27 

Guest Blogger--My daughter!

I have loved being a mom...been at it now 11 1/2 years. I don't know about your experience, but the child God has given me has blessed me abundantly. Her heart for others is incredible. She is ONE determined, passionate child. When she had a chance to name her autobiography she chose this title:

"The Determined Life of Jensi Shaw."

She is passionate about horses and owning one herself one day. Soon. Like go check in the garage, is it here yet? But, she also has a growing passion for the poor, the orphaned and the destitute. 

With her permission, I am going to share with you her persuasive speech she wrote this week for her 6th grade assignment:

Pets or People?

Let’s say you have some money you have decided to donate. What would you do with it? Would you spend it at the animal shelter where it could help animals who need a good home? Or would you be writing the check to help impoverished people around the world? If you said the animal shelter, perhaps I can change your mind. I believe that we need to support people before animals.

Everyone wants to make good investment. People live longer than animals, therefore your money goes to something long term. People need to have food, water and shelter. They need it much longer than animals. Wouldn’t you like your gift to have a longer impact for a more important cause? I do.

The need of people is huge. 4,500 children will die today because of water related diseases. I understand that animal shelters are important and I am not against them, but human life is more valuable. Does it anger you that people desert their animals? Doesn’t it anger you that people desert their children? 15 million children under age 5 die each DAY because of hunger. We are the ones deserting the needy, the unloved and the poor. We open the cupboard wanting a snack and complain that there is nothing “good enough” to eat. Ring a bell? We are overlooking the hungry people of our world and crying about the homeless animals.

Source: maximsnews.com

People are most important because we are created by God. And yes, I agree, animals are too! However, only humans are created in God’s own image. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created human beings in His own image.” Because of this, we have the desire and ability to make a difference in our world. How do you do that if you are living in the slum? How are you able to make the right choice if you are only taught to steal in order eat? These people need our help. 1.3 BILLION people live on less than ONE DOLLAR PER DAY. God didn’t make us to sit there and be a couch potato. He wants us to care, because He cares. Proverbs 28:27 says, “Whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing but a curse will come upon those who close their eyes to poverty.”  Proverbs 19:17 says “If you help the poor, you are lending to the Lord and He will repay you.”  Proverbs 22:9 says, “Blessed are those who are generous, because they feed the poor.” The Bible does not tell us that we will be blessed by saving animals.

[Play video from Tear Fund.org “What is Poverty?”]

Now are your minds changed? Giving to the poor is the right thing to do. Although giving and caring for animals is a good thing too. But I strongly feel we need to make people our first priority and then animals.

She was  pretty stressed working on this and was alarmed that she only had 2 days to get this done. Why? Because she wanted to not just change people's minds, but she hoped that by her giving this speech that kids will go home and ask their parents to donate to organizations that bring clean water or help the poor. She saw it as something greater than just an argument to win or an assignment to get done. I quote, "I want to get an A, and that's great and all, but what I really want to do is make a difference!"

I was also incredibly proud of her research. She did that herself! 

Sorry...

              am I being a boastful mom? 

I'm okay with that! :)

Something BIG is coming for Christmas and Uganda!!!

Remember Uganda?

I do.

Sunrise over nearby mosque

Coffee

Visiting with village kids

Remember an organization called Sixty Feet?

This is a play on "Sixty Feet's" name. There are MORE than 30 souls in the prisons!

They work with imprisoned children in Uganda. In facilities like this:

This is PRESENT DAY. I took this picture at "M" in August!

Remember Christmas???

Coming soon...a way to combine it all. Keep watch!