Orphan Sunday…introducing Our Soon-to-be-Son!

Source: Hope for Orphans

It's Orphan Sunday today and I am bursting at the seams to introduce you to our newest son!!!
I announced last week that we have been moved by God to adopt again, and we are branching out into a scary new special need: cancer. 
And the questions began…so let me offer up some details!
As of last week, we have officially been approved by his home country to adopt him!

He currently lives in an orphanage that partners with Half the Sky in a provincial city in China.
He is almost 2 years old. (He will be our caboose!)
He is adorable. (and we know we are a bit partial!)
He will be given the English name Gable. (Daddy named him!) Gable is an awesome name we've never heard ever (yes!!) and it means "Strong man of God."
Perfect.
And now…for his pictures:

These were the first I ever saw…the ones that Toby exclaimed, "Oh Mommy! I LOVE him!" about. It is this non-smiling picture that I realized he was ours. That face. That sweet, sweet, uber precious face!!!!
Gable was only 14 months old in these pictures. Since then, there was a visit to his orphanage where I was able to grab this picture from the end of a video where he smiled. This was taken just this past August at 19 months of age:

WHAT. A. CUTIE. PATOOTIE. (I know!!)
So, now you have a face for whom to pray. And we will begin fundraising ASAP!
The other question people want to know is WHEN. We pray that we could get all our clearances and funds to bring him home during the summer next year. Please join us in this prayer.
So happy to have yet another orphan on his way home to his FOREVER FAMILY!!! My arms are aching to hold and snuggle this precious one!

Birth Parent Loss--My Ache for Them

Sometimes it doesn't take much to light a fire in my heart to make me want to write. Sometimes writing is the only vehicle for my intense emotions.
This morning, it was this picture that undid my heart:

Used with permission from Casey Chappell

This glorious image of a boy, head thrown back in laughter, in the arms of his birth mother also in the same pose.
Don't they look so happy? So ALIKE.
Yet she is not raising him. She has spent the past 5 years getting herself together. And she bravely placed her baby into the arms of a family she only knew by letter…trusting they would raise him well.
And they have.
And as in open adoptions, they know one another.
This was a brave post by this adoptive mom…she was celebrating the amazing choice that this birth mother made to give her baby life and not take it from him because it was not convenient for her to become a parent at that time in her life. 
Let me have you read her sentiment in her own words: 

5 years ago today this brave young lady gave birth to this super smart and adventurous boy. Words can't explain how much I admire her courage to place her baby with a family she only knew through a letter.  She's had a long 5 years and is getting ready for the rest of her life and knowing Jack is one of those precious things that both she and Dan and I value greatly. Birth moms are incredible and I'm so glad that I have the privilege to know 3 American women and wish I knew the 2 African women who have given life to the children who call me mom.          ~Casey Chappell

I love this. And it had me in a puddle of tears.
This tender young birth mother! She bravely made an adoption plan for her baby and followed through.
How difficult.
How ripping.
Do we, adoptive parents, pause long enough to fathom what these birth parents go through as they place their precious children for adoption?
Or are we all about OUR timelines, our fundraising, our dossiers, and obtaining our police clearances??
We turned to International adoption for many reasons, and one of which was that the adoption would not be open. We would NOT be faced with the unknowns of visitations from birth family. 
I must say, after seeing this post and hearing stories from my domestic adoptive mom friends…I wish we had the opportunity to know our children's birth families.
I am struck how selfish our desire for closed adoptions has been.
Ugh.
Yet, our 3 "grafted in" children's stories would be the same no matter who adopted them. They all have deep, dark gaping holes of their past. Abandonments. Only one with a note, and it was not personal. 
Their aches are so real. So painful.
I ache to hear our son lament that he wishes he could give food to his Africa mommy…because she might be hungry.
I cry at night when I hear him tell me how much he longs to have been born in my tummy. Really, I think he aches to know the woman who gave him life and to KNOW the answers to his past.
I think of these biological parents who gave away their children in China when they were born "different" than they expected.
And honestly, I had PLENTY of time to choose them as my children, to investigate their special needs and to evaluate if I could "handle them." They did not get this luxury.
As Toby giggles or Esty walks using canes and braces I WISH DESPERATELY I could have their birth mothers standing there with me. I'd place my arms around them and say, "LOOK! That's OUR baby!!! Doing sooooo well! Thank you for making this most difficult choice for them!"
And then I'd plant a big fat kiss on their cheeks.
Adoption is riddled with pain, ache, longing. It's impossible to be torn away from your roots and not have scars.
And it is just as impossible to scoop these treasured children into your family and not feel heavy hearted over the loss your children feel, but also the loss for these nebulous birth parents who are just "somewhere" out there. 
Oh how I wish I knew their names, knew their phone numbers. How I'd love to text the video of Esty WALKING into school on her own this morning. 
I'd love to text the funnies said by Toby. I'd love to show them how he can feed himself because of his surgery. I would love to ask them who is the eternal optimist that put such sunshine into my son's heart!
I'd love to let Zeb's mommy know that he is safe. He is well fed, he is attending school and making amazing progress. That their choices have worked out well for their precious child.
I planted rose bushes for each of these mothers. They are still blooming now, well into the fall, just as their babies are blooming here with us.
But I still cry for them. I still feel the pain of their losses. If YOU were one of my children's birth mothers then I say to you: be at peace. Your child is my treasure. Your baby is happy. Your son/daughter is valued, getting an education, knowing love. Your sweet one is being nurtured to discover their strengths and go after their future with gusto. Medical needs are being attended to. Opportunities abound. I carry your child in our family with utmost care and love. Your child will soar is soaring!!!
And then, I'd hug them...and then cry too.

Hey Valentine, Love Endlessly!

So many of you supported our adoption process of all THREE of our treasures from afar.
HOW WE THANK YOU.
We could never have brought them home without you.
And we OH HOW WE treasure having them in our arms!!!!
So many of you ordered our most recent shirts…the "Love endlessly" ones that spawned from a painting I made for the art auction. 
We did not order extras, and many people saw them and wanted to order!
Well, we've got a little surprise for you: THEY ARE BACK!!!

This time, we are doing a solid red heart with all white print. These will be available in tees and hoodies in your choice of grey or pink.

Think love.
Think Valentine's Day!

We are also using different shirts. These will be printed on heavy Gildan sweatshirt hoodies; unisex Gildan "softstyle" for grey tees (a relaxed fit that is soft…the same as our Chosen shirts); a junior fit women's style on pink (so these run small…order 1-2 sizes up for comfort) and youth sizes for both tees and hoodies!
With all this snow this year, you can't have enough hoodies!! (At least we can't around here!) The youth hoodies are available in both colors but in sizes medium (10-12) and large (12-14).
The funds will go to alleviate our debt from Esty's emergency hospital stays in Guangzhou. After that amount is raised we will donate all our profits to our fabulous friends, the Coles, who are embarking upon yet another {surprise!} adoption…the biological sibling to their most recent adopted Ava!!
Go here to order yours!! 
Love endlessly!!

Adoption is a Calling

It was in the middle of the movie...when I first heard His voice.
"Will you go?" I heard in my heart.
As the movie continued, I was no longer watching the story from the outside, but I was seeing myself in that situation and all I could hear, see or think were the words,
"WILL YOU GO?????????"
I looked around me, were others hearing these words too?
My heart began to race. I felt adrenaline shoot through my body.
"Would I go?" Over and over the question repeated itself.
I was trying to watch a movie with my friends...but God was up to something far greater.
"Will you go? Will you go? Will you go?" the Holy Spirit repeated.
Finally I got up and ran out of the auditorium. I had to get out. To run.
As my feet hit the pavement, the words came over and over again, "Will you go? Will you go?"
I ran back to my dorm room and went into the dark laundry room where washers were churning out stains.
"Will you go? Will you go? Will you go?" the washers even rhythmically repeated the very same words.
I closed the door and fell against it with my back. A deep breath to try and calm myself didn't really work. I knew SOMETHING BIG was happening.
I prayed, "Lord, I don't really understand what you mean by "will I go," but I WILL go. Just show me."
These were my words over 23 years ago.
Fast forward to September 2013. I have lived a lot of life since then. The call to GO has been interpreted in my life as to GO to the nations and be a missionary.
And I have been so so so blessed to have that experience. Many times over, in multiple nations, cultures and environments.
But then, God stopped our overseas work. How did He do it? 
We lost our son Oskar.
{sigh. sweet boy. i'll never stop missing you.}
We never saw it as a stopping point, but our great Creator God who has mighty plans for us all, used it as such.
For years now, I have struggled with trying SO HARD, SO STINKING HARD, to get back overseas. To do mission work once again. To sink deep into a foreign culture, soaking in another new language, making friendships, living life alongside a people not my own.
I ache to do this. It's been set deep inside me.
Yet I remain here. My own culture, people who generally look like me. 
And we all speak English.
And shop at Walmart. (small town, don't judge.)
But, God has been up to something...something I had not expected!
(this is going to seem obvious to you perhaps, but I'm a bit slow...)
We have been adopting.
And as many, many people who have known our hearts to GO GO GO to the nations have said, "Look! God is bringing the nations to YOU!"
After about the fifth person said that, I started to HEAR it.
Hmmmm???? 
And then, a few weeks back, our pastor had us stand as he read these words from Romans 10:14-15:
"But how can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, "how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."
And I gasped.
All this time. All this time I had understood my calling of "will you go" to mean that I had to be physically leave my home country and dwell in a foreign land...and do ministry.
But alas! God has so many creative ideas!! (Just look up in the sky at night and be amazed!!)
God's calling on my life that moment, was consistent with His word in Matthew 28:19-20:
"Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
O. My. Soul.
All this time I thought I had to be living in a place where I bought my food from hawkers sitting over their produce in markets where I must barter for the best deal.
I thought I had to live a life where I took taxis for transportation.
Where I spoke languages not my own.
Where I had to miss out on major extended family events because I was a world away.
But actually? Actually????
God has brought the nations here. 

Just look at them. Sitting on my couch. Playing with one another and some balloons. 
The nations.
Small children, who were orphans. Here. In my house. On my couch. In clothes that I bought. Eating food that I cook.
The nations.
"Ask of Me, and I will give you the nations...as an inheritance for you," says Psalm 2:8
Wow. I sang that song in Haiti...never clueing in to this future meaning.
And that moment in church back in September when I gasped over the reading of Romans 10?
I realized that ADOPTION is a fulfillment of my calling.
"Will you go?"
It has meant many things in my lifetime. (and I ever hope and pray to go overseas again once we raise all these precious children!)
But one of the most important ways WILL YOU GO has been lived out in my life...
...is to go and bring home the orphan.
Wow. Somehow, in the midst of all the fundraising and the paperwork, I'd missed the big picture.
So, how is adoption a CALLING?
So often people use the phrase, "I'm called to adopt."
But what does that mean????
It means the most personal type of ministry possible. EVER.
Instead of going and living overseas, you bring the overseas orphan back into your world. (Obviously this is international adoption I am speaking of. I fully support domestic adoption, but am writing about my own process here.)
Instead of going and opening yourself to new friendships, languages, cultures, foods and seeking out those whom God directs you to minister to...you are focused on ONE HEART. (maybe more!) 
You are not just meeting with a few people to train them in God's Word and hope to see them next week...no, you have brought them home.
Around your table, into your bathtub, into your routines.
You do their laundry, you wipe their bottoms. 
You kiss their boo boos, you wipe their noses, you clean up their vomit.
They crawl into bed with you when they are frightened, you correct their ugly behavior and point them to Jesus.
This is UPCLOSE and PERSONAL, baby.
This. Is. Ministry.
On the most invasive and personal level.
And it's life-long. With life-long, generational impact.
Your grandchildren will not look like you.
You don't just give up your home culture and holidays with your mom and dad, sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews. 
You get those.
But you bring a needy, hurting heart into an environment of safety.
You become a safe place for a very hurting child.
You become a healing home. You become a conduit for which Jesus does slow miracles of healing.
Your daily life becomes a slow cooker for God to do His most amazing work--not just in those former orphans lives either...He does them in YOU too.
Through these hurting children, a mighty light shines upon your own heart.
You see yourself in ways you would have never known. You see things IN yourself you never have seen.
And there is ugliness there. Selfishness. Desire for comfort, for easy. For calm. 
And Jesus touches you. Brings His Spirit and softens. He changes you.
The job of the adoptive parent is to HOST.
You are hosting the long, deep healing of Jesus in the lives of the children you have grafted into your family.
It is slow.
You do not need to fix. He fixes.
You do not need to even understand the depth of their ache. Their hurt. Their trauma.
You need to give them safety, unconditional acceptance, routine...and Jesus.
You keep giving them Jesus.
And often, you need to back up from the moment at hand and SEE.
You need to remember what greater thing is being done in your midst. 
God Himself has chosen your family, your home, your life to become His canvas for His marvelous healing work in His precious children.
Hurting children. Adoption never happens without hurt.
You don't lose your birth family without ache. Without scars.
You don't endure abandonment without repercussions.
You don't survive abuse without impact.
And God has called YOU to bring them into your most intimate space and allow everything of theirs to hang out.
And it ain't pretty.
It ain't easy.
But it is rewarding.
"But how can they call on Him to save them unless they believe in Him? And how can they believe in Him if they have never heard about Him? And how can they hear about Him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, "how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." Romans 10 says.
How can they respond to Jesus when they are sitting in orphanages or on the streets fighting for their very lives?
How can their deeper spiritual needs be met when they are cold? When they are hungry? When they are unprotected from predators? 
When they have no one to hold them? No one to tell them, "You are so special," or "you are mine?"
Adoption is the MOST personal type of ministry. 
And there is no furlough.
There is no "going home."
This is permanent.
Your life, your family, your future is now bound up with these children. 
Children who will grow up differently...because you were called to this.
Children who will test you in ways you never dreamed possible.
Children who have deep needs that you never knew existed.
Children who will bring you greater joy than you have ever dreamed.
Children who are 100% YOURS. And you are 100% theirs.
Adoption is indeed a CALLING.
And for me, it is the ultimate fulfillment of the Spirit asking me "Will you go?" back 23 years ago. 
~~~~~~~~ Several weeks ago, some nasty articles came out where children's stories were told about being passed around from adoptive home to adoptive home. These reports deeply grieved me. I prayed long and hard about how to respond. 
What came to the surface for me, was the incredible need for SUPPORT for the families who have said YES to the fatherless. 
As well as on the front end, helping people wade through the question of "is adoption right for me?"
I truly believe that adoption is amazing. It is truly incredible. 
I love adoption.
But it is NOT right for everyone. Clearly.
If you are not willing to have your life turned upside down by someone who has intense needs, then adoption may not be right for you.
If you are not willing to rely completely upon Jesus for your every need, (because you will NOT be able to handle it--I promise!!), then adoption may not be right for you.
If you are hoping to create a "colorful" family because more and more people are doing this, then adoption may not be right for you.
If you are willing to let God do a mighty work within you, your family and a child you adopt, then adoption may be RIGHT for you.
If you are willing to become a healing home for a hurting child, then adoption may be right for you.
If you are willing to turn over all your plans to God, then adoption may be right for you.
I pray this helps.

Oh How He Loves Us--amazing video you MUST watch!

Wow. 

I just watched the following video about adoption and special needs. I'm posting it here so you can also be touched by its joy.

I hope you'll give 6 1/2 minutes to just sit and enjoy watching some amazing children who are part of an amazing family SHINE.

New Film Premiere - I Like Adoption. from ILikeGiving.com on Vimeo.

Father God, 

You are so great. You call us to be like You. You adopted us into Your family. You took us from our state of need and gave us an incredible inheritance. Thank you for the opportunity to show your abundant love to others in this world.

Thank you for calling us into adoption.

With joy-filled hearts,

Your children