A Mothering Prayer

Long silences from me in cyber space...

Yet I write a thousand blog posts as I sit beside Toby's crib...waiting for elusive sleep to descend.

I have so much to say. Going way back to his orphanage visit back in China.

How can I ever get the time?

I only now sneak a few minutes as the littles are sharing a snack and painting with watercolors. An activity that will expire in approximately 10 minutes.

I am doing the things you might imagine: cooking, laundry, kissing boo boos, rocking, reading, making ponytails, helping with homework, cleaning up, and lots and lots of praying.

These children are my calling.

There are six of them now.

They are such a blessing. I know that full well.

I never lose sight of the fact that two of them are former orphans. Their needs differ from my biological children.

They need special understanding. They stretch me in new ways. Often requiring me to have long distance patience, something I never began motherhood with.

I love these verses from Hebrews 13: 20-21...it has been my constant prayer as God stretches me to become the mother they need:


"Now may the God of peace-- who brought of from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with His blood--

May He equip you with all you need for doing His will. 
      May He produce in you through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to Him.

All glory to Him forever and ever! Amen!"

...and I hear it..."Mommy!!" Time to get off the computer again. :)

Just Because...

...because Darrah Kate is adorable.

...because evening light is beautiful.

...because we have a teddy bear for Toby that has a tag in his ear that actually says, "Toby."

...because we think about Toby so far away it hurts.

...because we ache to go get him and bring him home.

...and because I just want to share these moments with you.

God has no Plan B

Oh dear friends, what a truth this is!! We so often say that we'll just move to "Plan B," which is totally fine when you are human--but something altogether different when you consider our mighty God! In a wonderful post my friend, Chasity, has highlighted this beautiful truth. I would love it if you'd go over here and read it. Then we can all be on the same page!

Aren't those Scriptural examples wonderful? I have often contemplated the timing of the birth of Jesus. From Mary's perspective, things were not pretty. She was a full 9 months pregnant and was NOT comfortable. (I promise.) Then the news, "A census. Go to your home towns so we can count you." What in the world?!?! You HAVE to be kidding. Travel?! NOW!?!?!? But they did. And she was NOT comfortable. (I promise.) But she went. They and many, many other people flooded into the small town, something it was not prepared to handle. And then, the last thing she expected: all the inns were full. I wonder, did she panic?

What!?! You can't be serious, Jo! There's no room for us? But...but...I'm going to have this baby....I've been breathing through these gripping contractions all day. (Oh that donkey's spine did NOT help!) There has to be a mistake! Ask them again!! ....What?! We can stay in their stable???? Didn't God say that this was His Son? What has gone wrong? Surely God's Son would not be born on the fly, under such pressures and in a barn! Could He???

But yes. YES. YES!! This crazy, stress-filled moment is EXACTLY how God planned the presentation of His beloved Son into the world. It was not only NOT Plan B...it was not Plan A either. It was simply "the Plan" because it was God's and it came to pass.

Now for people like us, who are experiencing some tremendous ups and downs in our adoption, or for you in your personal situation, this is really good news.

The sweet little boy I fell in love with back in March? We committed to adopt him. Little did we know another family was given his file. Poof! Gone from our lives.

The set of twins we prayed so hard for, believing and committing to adopt? They also vanished from our lives after a family member emerged. Another broken heart and dashed hopes.

Up and down goes the roller coaster of adoption. Each story is unique, and there are many stories I am leaving out here for the sake of privacy. But it is absolutely so comforting to think that we are walking along the path we are because it's part of THE PLAN. Not plan b. This is not happening because the first try, second try, third try, fourth try and fifth tries did not work out. Nope, this is all part of finding our children and bringing them into our family.

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I ask you to please pray for us. Pray that we would take joy in this journey. (Most journeys you expect to move...this is a rather still slow moving journey!) Not too unlike a very pregnant Mary teetering on the spine of a donkey, this journey is laborious and wrought with emotion. However unlike pregnancy, there is no known ending date. We need patience, long-suffering and to remember to enjoy the journey. No matter how hard that donkey spine may feel.